Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
mclauren29 22
Good to see your dad's scamming, inconsiderate ways aren't genetic, OP.
jerrylee123 8
Even though that was a pretty dick move by your Dad, don't let it change your generosity when it comes to the less fortunate. We need more people like you in the worls OP!! :)
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Comments (92)
mclauren29 22
Good to see your dad's scamming, inconsiderate ways aren't genetic, OP.
Neonemerld 21
I agree. Good on you, OP. it's a commodity these days, being nice. Never lose your grip on that!
ColdplaySucks 18
Anyone else find the irony in this funny?
BairaiF 0
Whats OP?
RS808 6
There is a scammer here who still does this.. About 10 years now.. Wears ugly clothes and makes himself look dirty.. Gotta wonder how he's broke asking for change in the medians when he is literally about 260 pounds, and clearly eating better than I am.. (To verify that he's a scammer, my dad saw him on the opposite side of the island, eating just fine with normal clothes and a stack of cash.) I have no problem helping someone if they need it.. But there really are a lot of people who are just lazy bums who don't deserve any type of assistance.
jerrylee123 8
Even though that was a pretty dick move by your Dad, don't let it change your generosity when it comes to the less fortunate. We need more people like you in the worls OP!! :)
Marrach 7
World
jerrylee123 8
Yes, clearly I have absolutely no idea how to spell. It's got nothing to do with the fact that the 's' and the 'd' are right next to each other - couldn't simply be a typo, could it? Don't be pedantic.
zepher93 7
Now we pause, while she finds a dictionary to search 'pedantic'.
Jag_v 7
Ha! Whatare the chances. Not a lucky day for him i guess.
BlowinChronic 18
I doubt it'll really keep him from doing it again, it'll just be awkward that his daughter caught him doing it...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's why I will never give actual money to homeless people. I'll buy them food if it's legitimate, but I've seen people in intersections pretending to be homeless, then walking behind a store and driving off in their flashy convertibles. (And yes, I know OP didn't just give money.)
spaboolly 26
Extremely sad how selfish people can ablate any sympathy to those who are truly in need.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
It really is a shame. :(
prettygiirl13 3
I won't give them money either but I will give them some food and something to drink. A lot of them use the money toward alcohol, not anything that will help them. I do feel bad for them but not the ones who scam people!
TaffyMichele 9
I gotta say, I really don't like even giving food to homeless people now. There's a homeless guy with a dog in my town, so I gave him McDonalds and a bowl of dog food. He took the bag and kept the bowl of dog food where the dog couldn't get to it. I don't give food to that man anymore.
vbmg152 19
# 53- He probably ate the dog food, too! Years ago, we offered to buy a man food & he said "I'd rather you buy food for my dog." So, we got a huge bag of dog food & he immediately fed his dog & thanked us 100 times!
pradip 26
Come on its pointless why would someone with convertibles pretend to be homeless, to gather few more pennies to buy another convertible.
snarkytruth 37
The dog may have already eaten a couple times that day from the kindness of other strangers like yourself. He may have been saving it for tomorrow in case no one comes to his aid and the dog is going without again. Fault the human if you must but never stop trying to help the defenseless animals.
snarkytruth 37
I've read articles and seen news reports that claim if you have a good spot to work you can make more a week than those of us slaving away at a real job. I saw one guy that forgot to take off his brand new bright white sneakers. They were the kind that cost over $300. Smh
sparky82 11
I once had a guy ask me for bus money at a busy transfer location. I told him that no, I didn't have any cash, but offered to give him an extra bus ticket. He declined.
HeyyAngel 2
Wow
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Wow, your comment is full of genius there.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Usually comments like "lol" or "wow" are thumbed down :S Perhaps OP's dad being a total douche really deserves a "wow" comment
Chosen_peas 2
12- just so you're aware. You're comments aren't full of genius either. Move along now....we are tired of down voting you into oblivion. Come back when you're not a bitch
boofgall 16
42- THANK YOU. I've been noticing her very useless comments all over the FMLs, usually trying to bring someone down.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Maybe you should simple stop bitching about my bitching and move along without saying something. It flatters me to know I'm recognized. LOL :)
BlackIce911 17
42 - I agree with the sentiment, but my inner Grammar Nazi requires this: * your comments
Chosen_peas 2
56-You're correct. Sorry my auto-correct did that one. Your grammar Nazi wins. Mine fails.
Kajol123 5
It's also ironic how she started her reply with "wow" too...
lilhellian 27
56 I feel as it could be either way: "Just so you are aware," "just so your aware."
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
60- I think that was the point. haha :)
mykelinva 4
I think you have reached a point in your life where you put aside your father's advice on life and start listening to your self. Seems you are more in touch with reality than he is.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
What advice is even given here, exactly...?
reapy 14
I think you need to take your bitch pills, Iracebeth, it looks like you skipped them today.
Pleonasm 36
I agree with 25- your username wiuld be more fitting if it was IrateBitch.
mrsquiggles6900 5
Dang, I kept trying to thumb her down.. It only let me once :(
HeyArnold91 8
Your dad seriously needs to find a better way to make money
chellyX92 8
I saw a story on the news about that, a man made $500 in three days just driving around and setting up in different locations with a sign that said something about fighting in a war. The most insane thing is it isn't illegal. Or at least it wasn't since the last time i checked.
missyfiona89 28
Don't lose your compassion from one setback! I kept all my spare change in a separate purse so that I could give them to the homeless people I met on the streets. (separate purse so they don't see the notes I have)
saIty 17
Tell your dad to get off my spot;he's disturbing my business.
kennaem1 11
Dinkleburg
karkid619 8
40- ha I was gonna put the same thing.
VonGore 6
Kind of messed up that he is manipulating a vast issue in the world for his own benefit when he doesn't really need it. Which it's my guess he doesn't because it doesn't take much effort to sit and ask for spare change. If he really needed it, I'm sure he would try to work for it. Maybe. I'm kind of iffy with homeless people because I had a bad experience once. One night, I was working the graveyard shift and stopped at Mcdonald's on my break to get a bunch of $1 burgers for my co-workers and I. When I got to an intersection a homeless man approached me and asked if I had any money to spare. I don't carry cash on me, so all I had was my debit card. I told him I didn't have any money, but I did have a few burgers and some water bottles I could offer him. He then proceeded to start screaming and cuss me out, calling me a variety of names. Ever since then, I just shy away from them.