Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mclauren29 22
Good to see your dad's scamming, inconsiderate ways aren't genetic, OP.
jerrylee123 8
Even though that was a pretty dick move by your Dad, don't let it change your generosity when it comes to the less fortunate. We need more people like you in the worls OP!! :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
Why_Not31 12
I've ran into one of my uncles this way. TWICE. Except he claimed to be "Undercover," and "Marking the Evil Ones" with his spray bottle filled with 'I-don't-know-what.' When I got back home and told my Dad that Uncle Ray had apparently lost his marbles, Dad sat me down for a long talk on the Evil present everywhere, and how it's good of Uncle Ray to mark it out for everyone to see. I would've pegged Uncle Ray and maybe even Dad as some sort of weird religious nuts, but everyone in my family kinda views religion as something amusing, and they didn't really give me that impression.
ExoVil 10
my dad would do the same XD