Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
mclauren29 22
Good to see your dad's scamming, inconsiderate ways aren't genetic, OP.
jerrylee123 8
Even though that was a pretty dick move by your Dad, don't let it change your generosity when it comes to the less fortunate. We need more people like you in the worls OP!! :)
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Comments (92)
sweetmama88 6
Omg that's a total win !
MindFreakazoid 10
How exactly is that a win?
friscosoonerkid 3
Now that's a freeloader.
FYLDeep 26
Screw the meal. How much does it cost to buy him some self-respect?
RealZA_fml 20
Regardless, your deed is one not often seen. Merely the thought of doing that for someone earns you a spot in a good place.
ICastillo 25
You should have just gave him the meal and acted like you didn't know him. Your dad sounds like a jackass moocher.
samasara 20
You've gotta do what you've gotta do.
coducks 5
I don't know where you guys live, but in Vancouver, Washington, I generally see 3-4 cars give money to the homeless while waiting in traffic. Everyone acts like it is this rare thing to see.. But it's not.
Tuffay 14
I have a homeless friend in Seattle that begs for money on the street. He pulls in between $100 to $200 a day. He said he never made this much money, when he was working. Go figure!
jollyton 10
Lmao!!! Go daddy Go!!!
brand0n93 5
lol it's hard out here... u gotta do whatever it takes to make money
CuriousAlien 7
Well that was nice of you, but your dad needs to be taught a lesson. He needs to stop pretending to be homeless because it might actually happen one day, and when it does, no one will even bother to look at him.
KingMomo360 13
Are you absolutely sure he was pretending?
samasara 20
Lol what? How does that work?
livamour 17
Maybe this is his "9-5"