Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
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Top comments
bandaidstations 28
Did you at least give the elderly man some company while you were there? He probably forgets who his grandkids are anyway. ;) OP, in no way do you deserve this. Getting out of a hole when you can barely feed yourself is hard. But if I can do it you can too. Just don't give up working for what you deserve out of life!
dideldoodles 17
don't worry OP, your time will come! Stay focused and positive and things will eventually go your way.
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Comments (71)
dideldoodles 17
don't worry OP, your time will come! Stay focused and positive and things will eventually go your way.
xLIGHTS_fml 23
Why you always lying.
dontmindme7 9
Life finds a way
Silly_Lilly6969 23
We're all humans, we all make dicey decisions. We're not proud of all of them but we gotta do what we gotta do.
Scotth901 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Here's your Big Mac. Good luck eating it without teeth
PrincessZelda_HR 22
Might want to try rereading the FML; Op is not elderly, nor were they at McDonalds.
bandaidstations 28
Did you at least give the elderly man some company while you were there? He probably forgets who his grandkids are anyway. ;) OP, in no way do you deserve this. Getting out of a hole when you can barely feed yourself is hard. But if I can do it you can too. Just don't give up working for what you deserve out of life!
hekinokuroihi 20
You can always donate blood for money if you're in a tight spot.
bearbear120 27
Wouldn't that not be donating if your getting paid for it?
hekinokuroihi 20
I guess. They still call it donating though. Semantics.
Aew 17
Exactly. You're paid for your time.
SoBeSatan 22
You can donate blood for money? Here in Canada, all we get is juice and cookies.
DrownedMyFish 18
We can trade, #22. I'm willing to take juice and cookies as a payment. If only the tax collectors were as willing.....
ohSNAPyall 27
Juice and cookies for blood in the U.S. too, but you can get paid for plasma.
latchhooker 17
When I donate I get a Chipotle gift card each time. It started out that you got a T-shirt, then they changed it to the chipotle gift cards (I think they have other ones depending on where they go sometimes). At the end of the year you get a gift card (credit card type) with a set amount depending on how many times you have donated in that year. I don't have the info near me or I could give more details about it, but they've done that for a while too. This is in Ohio.
mr_sarcastic416 29
#22 you get a juice box and cookie? I only ever get a thank you lol
LyricaSilvan 30
Although I don't necessarily like the thought of lying to get food, I get that sometimes you have to choose survival first and foremost. Just keep your head up, OP. If you think positive and try your best, things will get better in due time.
interesting33 37
In the UK we have food banks where you get a voucher from a social worker or Citizen's Advice Bureau and are given three day's worth of food for you and your family. There might be something similar in America. There is no shame in it, life happens and it is very easy to get into a situation where you have no food so these sort of things can be really helpful.
cloudyface 23
Our food banks all you have to do is show up.
interesting33 37
Our's is the same - if you need food, you need food. But if people show up all the time without a voucher then we set rules and structures in place, say 'come in for a cuppa but unless you have a voucher we can't give out food.' We also don't turn people away just because they've been there more than 3 times a year unless they come all the time. :)
PencilTips 19
I'm deeply sorry OP for what you have to go through. Times are tough now but hopefully you can pull through and get back up. There are oppurtunities every corner you take, don't miss your chance! Good luck OP, I sincerely hope you make it.
Candijpg 17
next time you go pretend you work there and you might get a job
Leauge 13
Not how it works in real life #10.