Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mclauren29 22
Good to see your dad's scamming, inconsiderate ways aren't genetic, OP.
jerrylee123 8
Even though that was a pretty dick move by your Dad, don't let it change your generosity when it comes to the less fortunate. We need more people like you in the worls OP!! :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
AHAHAHAHAHA
lmfaoincanada 9
This is one if those cases where I hope Karma indeed does her job. It's disgusting to pretend to be homeless when there are so many people who really are homeless and NEED the compassion of others to survive.
winkydog4056 16
Dear 'ol dad....what a lovely role model for everything that's right in the world. Too bad it's not her step-dad; at least OP could say no blood relation there.
Ffuuu 10
At least you have a heart.
vippity 1
6th story in 'Adventures of Sherlock Holmes': The Man with the Twisted Lip (similar gig, someone uses disguise feigning homelessness b/c of apparent lucrativeness).
ashleynjx 6
its sad what the economy is driving people to do
radioedit 7
Yeah this is not true you just saw the Simpsons
anni5123 3
Your dad is smart
BassOvercast 1
That's class right there.
wtfozarks 5
My dad actually tried to get me to help him in a scam like this. He wanted to buy "toilet in a can" spray to make him smell bad so that he could "seem more legit."