Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
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Top comments
IGotzSkittlez 1
that guy really wanted your sandwich. should have gave it to him. or at least half.
DocBastard 40
Where's Boners to explain about the sandwich's special sauce that the homeless stripper provided? My mind isn't perverted enough to think of anything inappropriate enough here.
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Comments (164)
j_cat187 20
yay for barfing
intheboot 0
offer the sandwich in return for NO dancing next time... ;)
Agiggleaday 0
Give him a break he's in need of money
eyez_lay_low1921 0
lucky homeless dude.!
staceysgenesis16 0
haha !! thats the power of being persuasive!! i might have forgotten how to spell persuasive !! lmao
sterlingarcher 1
oh man that's disgusting lol..
staceysgenesis16 0
haha nooo lucky sammich !! :D
CitrusGirl 0
When will the hobos learn no means no!
ericownz101 0
wether OP lost their sandwich or LOST their sandwich, dirty mike still got a meal :D
ILoveEggnog 7
Thanks for the F-shack!
fatgirllovesfml 0
mmmm sandwich!! I'm hungry...I'm always hungry FML
forestqueenie 0
twice the flavor almost no calories :D
gutzz 0
You're all so negative, turns out that the striptease was so good, op figured it was well worth the sandwich!
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Dirty Mike and the boys.
poiuytjfffc 0
******* asshole give him ur sandwich he needs it more than u. u walked to work on an empty stomach, he lives his life on an empty stomach
violetdabomb 0
What the hell is wron with you op? Couldn't you at least HALVE the sandwich? Its so mean of you to enjoy that sandwich while a homeless man WATCHES you...
SkoalThugz 0
are people complaining about not giving the hobo the sandwich? 1) he didnt ask nicely, he offered a striptease which in my books classifies him as a rapehobo. 2) OP busts his/her back everyday at work to be able to afford this sandwhich, why should this rapehobo expect to be able to just bum (no pun intended) it off op
mfmylifesrsly 30
35 - or beer
Rainbow35 6
122: He did ask for spare change first, then when OP said no, he asked for the sandwich, then when OP said no *again* he offered a striptease. Obviously if he kept asking, he was quite desperate. You do make a good point about OP having worked to afford the sandwich and so on, but sandwiches aren't that expensive. OP could've probably just bought another one later, they're like €3 where I live... Maybe the homeless guy has tried to get a job before, but the places won't hire him 'cause he's homeless/unqualified/whatever? Just saying.
SkoalThugz 0
all valid points, however when you get down to it- it is op's property and the rapehobo should not expect anything from him.
staceysgenesis16 0
i agree ^^ lolol
ericownz101 0
haha i love all of you that caught my reference :p
drdingus 27
It's awesome
willykins009 0
delish
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, is it called back alley erotica?
dirtyblond 4
I would've just enjoyed the show!
Edwinadii 4
Free strip tease right there. Some are expensive, so I've been told.
RawrB3 0
did u at least thank him?
xXxSophiexXx 8
would you?
kyanisaurus 0
*spank him
dirtyblond 4
*Wank him
kyanisaurus 0
ok thats nasty even for me 129
ScuseMePrincess 2
You should have given him the sandwich. The man was obviously desperate.
dantheman1988 0
they did give him the sandwich. thats why they went back to work on an empty stomach.
IHeartJimi02 0
Or maybe op lost his/her appetite after seeing the striptease.
Jrefinne 7
Really? It sounds like they just said **** dat because they were too grossed out...
MissBrainDamage 0
Seriously - it's just a ******* sandwich! It was probably only about 5 dollars..
SeaChicken 0
expensive sandwich... i wouldnt give that away to some bum. Go work and earn your own expensive sandwich!
chosenen 6
He probebly screwed up his own life and even though I think that u should to try to help ppl in that situation, he shouldn't think that it's his right to get other ppls food/money.
ScuseMePrincess 2
Yeah, I got the impression that the OP lost his lunch over the sexy striptease.
11wanda11 6
#25, or she/he spewed up the said sandwich, and there for had en empty stomach?
airforce987 20
shouldve punched him or called the cops
Sniper_Fidelis 1
Your picture doesn't exactly match your name.
LifeSucksbtw 0
LOL
superpoptart 24
haha! wow. failure
alakomonus 0
iwo jima... hmm I guess it does? kinda sorta in a relatively far way you know they had planes... back then... around that area
laden_swallow09 35
89 - Back then, there was no Air Force, there was only the Army Air Corps. The AF wasn't organized until 1947, and even then, the only time that the Air Corps was in the Pacific that i know of was with Doolittle's Raid. Only the Marines stormed Iwo Jima after the Navy softened the Japanese defenses with artillery fire. Any aircraft otherwise were all Navy. So yes, 58. Failure, indeed! Also should've punched the man. I would've, anyway.
ProhibitionRose 14
YDI for giving him your sammich anyway!!!
annadorkable 0
he barfed.
ProhibitionRose 14
he doesn't SAY he barfed. just says an empty stomach.
BunnyBunBao 2
and he didn't SAY he gave the sandwich either.
ProhibitionRose 14
still deserves it.
froob 0
maybe he barfed then gave him the rest of the sandwitch?
Wheredidgrungego 12
It's FREE
Wheredidgrungego 12
It's FREE
marriiee_fml 0
^ haha
OMG_N3RD 0
Lol
IGotzSkittlez 1
that guy really wanted your sandwich. should have gave it to him. or at least half.
abcd4242 0
did you like the erotic striptease?
persianjr1 7
yes, of course he did. If he didn't, he would have simply ran/walked away.
sterlingarcher 1
hahaha :) ^^