Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
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Top comments
CYNNER 0
Misadvertisement. you should sue
JESUSlives4MUSIC 0
you must feel proud. I know I would
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Comments (171)
lilcort2010 0
wow that sucks lol
CyclonePsycho 1
I think s/he was refering to 911, as in the number Americans call when there's an emergency. Had the OP cut himself deep enough (and was living in the States), he would have needed to call 911. Because bleeding out is an emergency. And for emergencies, we call 911. HOW ABOUT WE ALL JUST RELAX A LITTLE? HUH? MAYBE?
_love_stinks_ 0
advertisments are all lies! even i know that and im 13!!!
ily1210 10
ROFLL! omfg, thats funny. nice wording
vexis58 1
I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic.
Lythiaren 8
No, I definitely feel apathy here It's a razor blade. Made to cut. Flesh is soft and cuttable.
FatSheldon 2
ouch... YDI for listening to that ad! well sort of cause they lied
goliatron 9
Noobert Von Noobenstein.
cinnaluna 0
Ahaha XD
Smith000006 1
Yeah sue them! Get your money for nothing, live the American dream! Who cares if it's at the expense of all the other consumers
starlightwater 0
...but he's from the UK XD
Smith000006 1
lol, true. it was more sarchasm directed at all the comments. which I'm guessing the majority of are not from Brits
jts2 3
If you stand me up on a date! If you deliver my pizza.. THIRTY SECONDS LATE! Yeah, I'll sue, sue! Yeah I'm gonna sue!
vannahd 0
hahaha-haha I'll sue ya, I'll take all ya money, I'll sue ya if you even look at me funny, hahaha-haha
whyyyyyyyyyyy 0
nice one slick
perdix 31
When they make a product idiot-proof, someone goes and invents a bigger idiot.