Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
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Top comments
CYNNER 0
Misadvertisement. you should sue
JESUSlives4MUSIC 0
you must feel proud. I know I would
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Comments (171)
alfigel 0
Oh well, so did I. But it's especially "funny" when you switch to this type of razor because you are being medicated with anticoagulants (i.e. you are a drug-induced bleeder).
erikeet216 0
um, i've never heard of a razor that said it was impossible to cut yourself with... i call bullshit
cinnaluna 0
I'm sorry, but the logic of a no cut razor epicly fails. If it's no cut, how the crap are you supposed to shave with it?
AxCxDxDx 0
pasta!
OmgiLove 0
Pasta is ALWAYS the answer :)
macc55 2
do i hear a lawsuit?
dzerzhinsky 0
YDI for believing the hype
dfeigel71 0
You should use the razor to slit your own neck, then dig deep into the toilet that you offten plug up, grab a handfull of whatever is in there and put it down your blowhole. FML is right, you are so emo!
Boy_Flow 0
overachiever my ass, your shaving wrong dumbass
FranciscoB 0
Have you been shaving with a brick?
EricJ 3
Buy an electric.