Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
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Top comments
nightfire2258 24
Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!
whyusofat 17
Shit on his car
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Comments (107)
AtPasalacqua 9
Well that seems just a little extreme.
fml1365 30
I'd be so pissed.
savona01 7
Piss down his defrost vents on the bottom of his wind shield, that stink will never come out!
tochiotome 14
I was gonna suggest the same thing. Tuna fish juice would also be lovely.
worldclassrager 41
Windows closed always..,and it's a free for all for parking but really if it's that important to him just park a space over...
Ariet 20
I hope you get back at him somehow.
Raykyogrou03 12
Half your fault for leaving the window/door open/unlocked.
Eivana 37
Don't leave your god damn windows open. Common sense.
Jst4kicks 16
thats when u put ur knob in his wife
Tom267 4
You need to have him arrested for 1. Breaking into your car (if he did) 2. Vandalism 3. Public Urination And then get the money to have the seats deep cleaned or reupholstered, and if he refuses, take him to court.
TogeBara 12
you are correct, sir. also the public urination will nail him as a sex offender (low level but still) and he will have to find a new place to live most likely.
ratorr2 23
I agree! Call the cops and report him. Getting revenge, like most of the other posters suggest, will only lead to more retaliation from the neighbor and possible an all out war. At least this way he will get fined and possibly go to jail if he keeps it up.
LithFlavored 10
He shouldn't have been able to get into your car in the first place op. Immature on his part though. Hope you settle things with him