Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Introductions
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Car Wars
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML
Move!
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Call the fuzz
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Don't mind me
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Top comments
nightfire2258 24
Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!
whyusofat 17
Shit on his car
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Comments (107)
xxsakuraxx 29
Call the cops and press charges. Sue his ass!!!!!
ShadowAirplane 9
Call the cops and report it as vandalism.
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
If he is a new neighbour he should have consulted you about where he could park. Instead, he went full retard.
mikaellikestacos 14
Call the police I hope u at least did that
webmoocher 7
Stop parking in my spot!
ViviMage 40
How can he put ANYTHING in your car? I always roll up my windows before I leave it. This only makes sense if you left your windows open. Which is an FML in itself. If your windows were down to waist high level you were risking theft! Do not leave your windows open enough to stick a hand....or a knob.... Inside! Try vinegar and baking soda for the pee smell.
natywantspeace 7
Walk up to him and stare straight into his eyes in an non-intimidating manner and say "I forgive you" and walk away. He would never see that coming and feel like an ass for the rest of his life. His brain won't let him forget.
GetSomeM0 24
I thought it was funny
processengineer 9
well that escalated quickly
jadevv 12
Shared driveway??