Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
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Top comments
nightfire2258 24
Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!
whyusofat 17
Shit on his car
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Comments (107)
reaxion 25
Judge Judy! Damages and emotional distress for the stench and for having to see his noodle.
WhiteCrimson 23
Very territorial neighbor you have there OP. try not to piss him off. He might come and mark his territory in you appartment
CDobs 8
That's disgusting. I hope you press charges, or at least threaten to do so in order to get him to pay to have your car cleaned.
CharresBarkrey 16
Common sense dictates that if you were in his spot, YOUR spot would be left open for HIM to park in. Is he really that possessive?
ty7in_topic 31
*Cleveland voice* Oh that's nasty!
aintlifeapain 21
The Lord help you if he pisses to mark his "territory". He officially made your car his. You don't know what he might piss on next. FYL
babyblueyes 27
Well maybe you shouldn't have parked in his spot...just saying lol
LowExpectations 30
In my apartment complex there is no such thing as "my spot". It's strictly first come first serve. Any person that thinks like this looney needs to be put in jail. I hope the OP gets reimbursement for all the damages.
buckdharma 38
You pressed his buttons so he pulled his knob.
abekj52 9
you should have touched his penis
RadeonDerp 24
Can't tell if high or just really stupid.
brittyboo123 35
When he parks in your spot, I hope you have something for him as well.