Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
Sounds like your dad might have been more than just drunk.
SirSantpoort 0
he on crack
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Comments (114)
nond2nv 4
Unless your father is an alcoholic, I consider this a win. I think it would be hilarious to come home to a parent acting goofy due to intoxication. Granted, I've never witness my own parents drunk, I still think it would be funny. I'd definitely record it!
craphappened 4
And then, BLACKMAIL TIME! hahaha
nond2nv 4
Of course! haha
redrovaa 0
It's actually NOT funny when your parents are intoxicated..it's embarrassing and they usually try to like, care for you but end up hurting you and they cry over one little thing and become creepy.
ddlovatolover 23
#59, that's an unusually specific comment. Speaking from past experiences?
FirstBornUnicorn 0
O NOES!!! Your life is all ruined in junk.
nond2nv 4
lulz
Arsonnist 3
Well at least it was the history channel. It could have been even worse. Plus that's funny.
RedPillSucks 33
Imagine if he was watching the playboy channel, or animal planet, or both?
Arsonnist 3
Wow, I would hope they didn't have a pet in the front yard if that was the case, haha.
FYLDeep 26
You need to explain to him that having a beer gut doesn't make you Buddha.
aardvarkish 17
Good call... however, the scene must have been rad.
FFML_314 12
Your picture makes you look like a giant question mark. Just saying.
KiwiLime 0
lol, cars were beeping and people were yelling "praise the lord?" your father's a boss.
kappaaa 12
#13, your a dick. Grow the **** up, and stop being so depressed and negative. **** man.
kappaaa 12
Wow man. That's so funny. Did you rub his Belly for goodluck? Hahaha.
gunner6262 0
too funny lol
suppressed08 2
He COULD be right though...