Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Better than father and daughter bondage time, I suppose.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Sounds like a good time. At least he didn't call you hot.
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Comments (132)
A7X_LoVeee 10
Sounds like a good time. At least he didn't call you hot.
TheWhiteDemon 0
what do you mean? hes sober; the piss is the thing getting drunk. it says right in the fml that her dad was getting the piss drunk
Inhumanfrost 0
She's right, it could have been sooooo much worse.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
14, that's sick. I don't know where you'd get the idea that the father like drinking or having his piss drunk, but I'm disgusted! :P
IHumpYourMother 0
im not into fathers. but i guess id tap that.
KiddNYC1O 22
14- That was extremely corny but it made me laugh.
chuckychan 8
you see that still could have been fun
urdirtyolduncle 15
Emily-- in ur bio, it says you're pretty much up for anything.. does that mean.... ;) *clicks tongue*
rallets 23
WINCEST!!!
bermejo 0
stop complaining atleast ur dad doesnt beat u like a red headed step child
chuckychan 8
65 is right you guys need to grow up...
bermejo 0
68 stop being a kiss ass
chuckychan 8
sorry you're right so how's life?
bermejo 0
we could do that but it's no fun to do stuff in private that's why the guy masterbated in public duh winning
chuckychan 8
I like to do it on the graviton at the fair
bermejo 0
u are a genius that must feel amazing I'm going to try that with my dryer
chuckychan 8
dishwashers are pretty good too lotsa soap
bermejo 0
I wonder if my gold fish could join me
chuckychan 8
no idiot goldfish don't lie poprocks maybe try it with diet coke and mentos
bermejo 0
no dammit Ima pimp on a budget
chuckychan 8
then maybe using mountain dew is a better solution
bermejo 0
nah no name brands I'll use mountain breeze
YwTwss 0
penis
PassTheDutch 0
I think a7x love was making a reference to another FML one were the dad got drunk and called his daughter hot.
A7X_LoVeee 10
My IQ just dropped a few points by reading most of these comments.
A7X_LoVeee 10
120-YES!
kc_boss 0
haha gay
This2Rudy 7
number 1, good job with your study of this sight, even if 120 hadn't pointed it out I still knew what you were talking about
sarahkhan93 4
121: thats what happens to me when I read fmls :)
AllThatHit 7
Oh Yeah I remember that fml, I was gonna say that too lol
krysxkatastrophe 14
Some pop you got there....
PrickHead 0
wish my dad was like that :D
flipstar530 0
u r ugly. Is that like a wart on ur face? ew.
britt93 7
66- no one asked your opinion. I'm guessing you dont look too great yourself because you don't use a real pic. at least they have the guts to show themselves. so thanks for your worthless opinion.
bryanorange 3
WIN!
j_cat187 20
i like cereal 2
ilikepie22313 5
76- I love you for that comment
biass 0
I agree with 67, suck a dick and die 66. Not literally, of course.
cheeturtle 0
66's got a good point
PrickHead 0
67, ur rather cute ;)
rawr9able 4
2, you're pretty, please ignore the peanut galary.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Do you guys seriously not have anything better to do?
louie111887 0
hey you live in carmel ?!? I live in salinas ! we should hang out sometime ! haha.
NitroTonicsFML 4
Sounds good to me.
kyanisaurus 0
^LOL ditto sounds like OP should have joined the party
Sae_Ghelk 6
LOL When I first read this ,, i thought it said "Father and Daughter BONDAGE"
getfiggywithit1 0
I wouldve left his ass
Avenged7Gabe 0
you would
rallets 23
you should
notsocrazee 0
you could
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
you good
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
you good
dirtyblond 4
killed it^ -___-
DocBastard 40
Better than father and daughter bondage time, I suppose.
lerouxmaster 7
That's what I first thought. I'm a French Canadian so I thought "Bonding" was a derivate from "bondage"
Gamzee_fml 0
ditto
Jimster1712 0
hahaha! nice one
Perksofbeingawal 0
That's sick. I'm so glad no body in my family drinks.
Hopcastyle 3
Sounds like your family sucks, man
urdirtyolduncle 15
I concur
Alleged_Cranium 7
She'll drive her family to drink.
memo619 0
at least he didn't call you hot and try to hit on you
memo619 0
didn't see #1's comment, just ignore mine :P
Dark_Charizard 0
It could be worse, you know. He could hit on you.
furlifefoo 0
Owned
xledellz 0
hahahahhaa