Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
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Top comments
UnluckyLatina 22
Lampposts can be assholes sometimes
BoeingAirbus 4
Are you saying that talking to lampposts isn't normal?
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Comments (36)
jmigs17 19
Maybe you should have let your dad inside?
Saraishi 25
Maybe there's a reason he's outside?
Destinee_1 13
Yeah why didn't you go get your dad? Haha
UnluckyLatina 22
Lampposts can be assholes sometimes
TheBelt 19
Not all the time, just when they turn off the lights
riffehunter 16
yes they can #3, one of the ******* jumped in front of my car while I was reading this.
jenjen2633 17
Especially when they don't let you into Narnia
_Peppermint_ 34
You must be really bright
BoeingAirbus 4
Are you saying that talking to lampposts isn't normal?
ZombieVampirez 24
They hold interesting conversations until the light turns off :)
1dvos_grl3 21
At that point they've ran out of ideas.
KitchenPig 16
Should have let your dad inside the lamppost.
bcofelia 22
Did the lamppost and your dad make up? Because, lamppost's can be assholes.
JustinJK 21
Why is everyone blaming the lamppost? lamp posts are nice. Mr lamp was probably just standing there minding his own business when these drunkard came along
91hayek 31
Poor lamp post. Don't hate that which Illuminates.
CVTTRVN 19
How many lightbulbs does it take for a man to yell at a lamppost?
Epikatz 22
One, I imagine? Don't ask him to change it though. Drunk people are just awful with ladders.
eddy1965 6
I can't remember the last time I was locked out of a lamp post.and fortunately neither will your father.