Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
Sounds like your dad might have been more than just drunk.
SirSantpoort 0
he on crack
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Comments (114)
chillinAK 9
ahahahahahahahaha, I would have dropped to the floor laughing my ass off. hell, I love funny drunks! I would have made the best of it and joined him - see how many ppl stopped
iLuvCupcakesxoxo 0
dude that area is so ****** up...you need to leave lmao
PlutoSA 0
Your life? F*ck it.
saranwrap69 0
roflmao. omg, this is hilarious xD
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Meh he's not hurting you or anyone else. how does this FYL again? Oh yeah you're a douche who is embarrassed by her family.
RedPillSucks 33
Well, really. If you're going to be embarrassed about family, I think this is a very well qualified moment to be embarrassed. This is not like some whiney tweens that are embarrassed that they have the only parents that don't own a porche or volvo SUV, or whose house isn't over 3000sqft.
ahhnonomhisdude 0
your da
ahhnonomhisdude 0
dad rules (premature post)
RedPillSucks 33
There's medicine that will fix that. Mind the side effects, though.
soccerscout7 6
I'm a Buddhist but lmao.
christian50 0
haha you shouldve went along with it and sat down and praised beside him
JackynJared 0
Hi 13, I read your profile and just wanted to let you know that I'm poor black and live in a single parent home. I don't appreciate what you said to me. take it back.
triggerit 5
FTW!!!