Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
Sounds like your dad might have been more than just drunk.
SirSantpoort 0
he on crack
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Comments (114)
Shookitup 0
Whoa #28, chill out. He stated his opinion, not killed a puppy.
ohthebloodygore 16
31, no. He's not. Read 13's profile. 33, true. But his ignorance is sad. It's also pathetic.
PWNjaban 0
He was having a spiritual moment. You should have joined him, you atheist.
Smoke234 3
That's pretty funny, the look on your face would have been priceless
rockr_chick 5
wow 13's little speech on his profile was soooo contradicting o.o
craphappened 4
I wouldn't be embarrassed. He sounds like a fun dad!
ababoloo 0
haha I agree sounds like a fun day
RALPHHHH 0
You should have given him an empty coffee can and wrote offerings on it and made some money out of the situation...
fullmetalshrimp 0
major WTF moment.
akaashR 0
lmao go make yourself useful and sell some tickets