Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
genesisnirvana 11
your parents are a win.
Andrewlostnow 3
your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
genesisnirvana 11
your parents are a win.
italiangurrl 8
more like an epic win! :)
Jacobt24 19
My friends just yell at people for fun when go go driving around (water balloons are fun also)
flawedgenius 6
epic win? yes in an embarrassing fail/I'm ashamed of my parents kind of way...
Monii_Harlz 11
don't worry op ! my rents do the same thing LOL
blanquito 1
They don't understand the concept of doggystyle.
ryno101 3
one day when I'm a parent, I plan to be like yours, embrace it op, you could have ended up with worse...
dolphincheddar 10
drop them off at the dog pound so they learn their lesson? or bring them home and put them in a dog cage
ibitehard 9
Lol I bark at people from my car completely sober, they get soooo scared XD
Das_Judenburg 0
Prolly 'cause you're fat.
aussie_gemini 5
lmao 71 usually I'd tell you how much of an ass comment that is... but that caught me off guard so I couldn't help but laugh lol
senseisuncommon 7
ha. there your bitches now...
senseisuncommon 7
they're * stupid iPod..
lolwutsameme 0
Absolutely barking mad!
Angel_Vice 0
At least they didn't go wee wee wee allthe way home.
zendaddy0 0
I'm guessing driving really fast next to a stop sign is out of the question?
turkishjew 0
C-c-c-c-c Combo Breaker
athena3100 9
i love ur parents!
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, in my experiences when parental's age some what mirrors their drunken I.q. tend to be pretty awesome...
FlipInBrosky 4
"Did somebody say Scooby snacks? Zoinks Scoob!"
whybother8 0
your parents are the best! you should've joined them.
kitarakya 0
i barked at a dog the other day. i was sober though.....
Andrewlostnow 3
your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow
runtodarkness 0
you pussy...
xJudii 5
Cat;)
middletin 0
you should've joined them... don't be a party pooper
laurbear12 3
ya definitely before driving
ambowew 7
And just leave the car to drive itself home.
afdude87 6
I'm sure she meant barking but ok..
CEG3 0
37- In Soviet Russia, the car drives you, so technically if they were in Russia, the whole family can bark out the window :P
middletin 0
I meant she should bark too and join in... retards!I meant she should bark too and join in... retards!
itsbritneybixchh 0
haha #69 winning!
i3urton 2
hayyy ;)
FusionCharger27 0
woof?
jessiilovee 0
someone needs a shock collar... (;
BountyBass 13
who let the dogs out??!!!!!!! woof woof who who WHO???
raebeglan 7
i feel your pain.. and it sucks having to be the mature one all the time ... I don't think you were a party pooper
ImaWiseGuy 5
but if your parents can't be drunk and immature in front of you who can they then?^
hardcoreFML4223 0
no one cares
CryMoreFMLs 15
Nobody cares that you don't care. Other then me, stating this obvious fact. Irony? Maybe. Stupidity? Possibly.
erocketship 0
You! sound like the party pooper his parents just don't gv a fck and enjoy their lives.
carameldrizzle 0
i wish my parents were that fun
xleanne_aLly 23
did your tongue piercing hurt a lot? annnd how much was it?
mahomie97 7
$15.96 plus s&h.(:
ollierobs 0
A Spanish chick from Canada eh?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Way to be a creeper #101... even I don't do that. And boy, am I creepy...
ambowew 7
Are these the other dogs that your great grandmother was talking about?
coolkid_matt 11
WTF!?! LOL.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
y so serious? o.0