Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
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Comments (281)
mowmowlife 21
well now
mowmowlife 21
okay this is nuts. I can't delete comments
chveya 6
So let me get this straight. You, a man, want pity because you have to occasionally be in the company of a woman undergoing the agonizing, endless pain that is a menstrual period? You have nothing to whine about. Nothing.
CorruptAngel920 18
Would it be better if OP was hit with a shoe? Or how about something else? I don't see how it's "agonizing, endless pain" when it's only a week. Besides, it could be hormones, it could be that OP's girlfriend was having a bad day besides the period. Not everyone's period is the same and just because it might be endlessly agonizing for some, it might last a day or two (of cramping pain) for others.
DanielT1994 19
He has a domestic dispute to complain about if he'd like. His girlfriend should be glad he didn't decide to notify authorities. Being in pain is no excuse for attempting to harm your partner. I don't care who you are or what pain your in. It's unacceptable and immature.
clue_me_in 20
She gets to eat cheesecake? Lucky. I'm lying in bed right now wondering if I should have went to the ER. Some girls have all the luck...
andthepennydrops 6
Don't sweat it, bro. Just be nice. If she's a good gf, you will be rewarded for your kindness :)
asktherunes 4
Yea....that's the message u received You know nothing about women
Ameel_fml 19
Nutella makes everything better :D
greeneyebeauty9 28
and I give you all my luck..
doodoo10 10
aw! I have to admit it really does suck for guys to have to deal with our emotional roller coasters :|
csimone1998 2
Stay low, and don't say anything that contains the word "No".
OhDearBetrayal 25
"Do you think I'm fat?!" "Uhh...Yes?"