Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
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Comments (281)
Michie1228 5
Word of advise? Do what she says, trust me, it can get ugly if you don't. :S Oh and don't piss her off. Worse thing to do. Good luck.
Jessiegirl122 7
One guy told me that he knew what it felt like to have a period because his stomach cramped up. He's lucky I didn't slap him.
dathan 14
Lol, what? Even though I understand how painful stomach pains are during periods, we guys can have pain too. It's not like we feel well 24/7 and can't understand what pain feels like. :|
Jessiegirl122 7
I understand that guys don't always feel well. It was just the fact that he compared stomach pains to a whole period. It's not just stomach pains we go through, it's: Back pains, mood swings, upset stomachs and headaches. Stomach cramps are not equivalent to a whole period.
Missusluv313 9
I really think it is finally time for people to stop complaining and bashing women for shit we have no control over. It's a natural, and never ending part of life. NONE of us would be here if periods didn't exist. So stfu about it.
itsame0987 18
You do realize that you will stop having your period one day right? It is not a never ending part of life.
Missusluv313 9
That's not what I meant. I meant life in general. That will always happen to females at some point in their lives, unless they're born without ovaries and a uterus. Yes you can avoid having one with medication, and it'll stop during pregnancy and eventually stop after menopause. So, to answer your "question", I do realize that.
Ameel_fml 19
To be fair, when periods stop, then you have to deal with menopause. Nothing like cramps, faintness, hot flushes, and a dry ******. Ugh, why so we suffer so...
xNephilim 19
Periods suck. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to be able to hold down a job when my periods get so bad that I curl up and cry. Also, occasionally, I will react extremely badly to heat. A couple months ago, my boyfriend and I were out to eat lunch with his brother in law and a friend and decided to walk across the road to a little store to look at some speakers for a car. On the way there, I got so dizzy I almost passed out, was experiencing even more intense cramps than before, felt sick to my stomach, was sweating bullets, had hot flashes with the occasional feeling of freezing to death. All from walking across the road in the Georgia heat and my period. Yeah. Holding down a job seems kind of... Impossible. OP, like so many others suggested... Stick around and try not to get mad at her. Unless it's not just a one time thing. If the violence keeps going, talk to her when she's not bleeding out of her lady bits and explain that she will have to change her behavior.
hannahboo15 1
Heat while on my period can make me feel dizzy and nauseous too
chellyX92 8
There's things for that, hormone therapy, birth control, mirana, a lot of things to help with intense periods. I take birth control. That little pill has taken away my anemia, cramps, and has regulated my period. Everyone's different talk to a doctor. Especially if your job is in danger. If you don't have insurance or have crappy insurance plan parenthood is good for that too. My mom goes there and they been helping her for almost a year. There's always options.
xNephilim 19
Yeah, I know I need to get on birth control soon. Been thinking about it for about 3 years now but never could bring myself to do it. Mostly because my nasty symptoms come and go as they please. One month, I'm as happy as can be, next month I'll be thinking I'm dying. But yeaaaah. It's time to go get my ass on the pill, haha.
Ameel_fml 19
I'd definitely recommend the Pill, if only because it will help with the cramps, lessen blood flow AND you will be able to choose when you want to have your period (I usually have mine once every two months because I lose less blood and have less chance of becoming anemic. And having a period 6 times a year, as opposed to 12, is so much more manageable). A lot of women say they won't go on the Pill because they're worried about side effects or becoming fat, but side effects are fairly rare and you can always go off the Pill whenever you want to (or change the brand if it's not suiting you).
xNephilim 19
That's one of the fears I have. Getting fat. But that all depends on the brand, so I think I'll be fine.
galaxystar2 6
Or maybe she actually had a BAD day and those things make her feel better. I'm sure you did or said something to provoke a shoe being thrown at you.
Lionesse 15
Oh.. She brought the cheesecake out..... Be advised... Anything you say can trigger world war 3
NigerianMedicine 11
I suggest an immediate evacuation of the area for the next 6 to 48 hours. Return only to deliver more cheesecake and chick-flicks. Other than that, stay very, very far away. About a mile radius should suffice.
musicloverwells 13
Good luck dealing with her. Us women can get pretty bitchy while on our period.
KiddNYC1O 22
"Why didn't you write me??"
missbrad 4
Who even behaves like that? Take her to a psychologists.