Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, I got a haircut. During dinner, my grandmother complained about it, and said I looked terrible. I've had the exact same haircut for years. FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML
Today, as a college student on a budget, I treated myself to a haircut. The stylist asked if I liked it, even though it was much shorter than I wanted, and I said yes. When I got home, my roommate asked if I had joined the military. My mom asked if I was OK. I'm wearing hats for the foreseeable future. FML
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Top comments
clrichmond2009 24
Drop and give me 20, maggot!
LostInTheZone11 29
Now you have a new respect for your grandpa and those who serve(d) in the military.
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Comments (75)
clrichmond2009 24
Drop and give me 20, maggot!
CheeseTron 15
OP's a maggot
Guardian88 21
OPs not too bright if you ask me......
smokecloud_ 37
Yeah, I would've politely told him to buzz off.
Credibleskills 28
Can't tell if thats a pun intended or not, XD #47
BootheGhost 6
"Take your lumps like a man, private twinkle toes!"
LostInTheZone11 29
Now you have a new respect for your grandpa and those who serve(d) in the military.
Indianboy9321 25
It's like the episode of Family Guy, where Peter falls off a tree and get his lip pulled back over his head and behind his ears to experience the pain of childbirth. Now that you have endured their pain, "the healing can begin."
1947Chevy 17
Wow 44. You actually found an applicable family guy moment to something real in comparison.
blueboy154 12
I SAID DO IT DO IT NOW
PhilSnake22 13
And there was nothing to stop you from doing push-ups for him? I would have flat out refused a ridiculous request like that.
jkmartinjk 16
Ah the circus ponies, still prevalent in the military today. (All Quiet reference btw)
pastafanatic 13
Same!
jessherself13 21
Yeah, you could have refused. You aren't actually in the military so that guy had no power over you. Stand up for yourself next time.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
It would have been worse if he refused.
Guardian88 21
You speaking from past experiences?? WHAT CAN HE DO FOR YOU REFUSING....?? NOT A DAMN THING son, everyone has a choice always remember that an maybe youll learn something someday
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Have you ever told an elderly veteran no to something around his peers?
Danne696 14
You mean he would've shouted louder? The old sergeant needs to realize he isn't in the army any more.
1947Chevy 17
Could have but from my point of view OP showed some respect that never had to be shown. Besides one thing about the old vets is that not all of them are totally right in the head from PTSD, age or something. In the case of one of my own family members it meds that affect them. We don't know what is going through these peoples heads sometimes so I often find it better to comply.
TJRou09 10
I have no idea why they downvoted this?
rhysfucker 24
I just had a Full Metal Jacket flashback...ah! Memories!
lucianaamelia 21
Maybe you should've just laughed and told him you weren't in the army. Good fml tho:D
Laidbackmofo 13
Laughing would be a big sign of disrespect and would have ended badly.
Rallred32 20
How would that have been disrespectful? Does, "Haha, sorry, I'm not in the army" sound disrespectful?
weveallbeenthere 30
once a DI always a DI.
Guardian88 21
This is the ARMY !!!!! There are no DIs in the army.......they are DRILL SERGEANTS in the ARMY and DRILL INSTRUCTORS are in the MARINES.......some people I tell ya, some people!!! Oh and you would know that if you had any sense of the military at all.....
cakefete2 31
All the capital letters makes me feel like you were over excited and yelling. He was just making a joke, but thanks for the informational bits.
rocker_chick105 31
Honestly, I have a decent sense of the military but didn't know that. I greatly appreciate those who serve, but it isn't for me, so I'm not going to find extensive details like that. That being said, I do know some. But just because someone doesn't know something does not mean they aren't intelligent or anything.
paigexox0 37
Ok there 23 calm down
imchacon22 19
"bullshit! Get on your knees scumbag! now choke yourself." thought that fit your FML's name perfectly
classiceagle63 16
YES DRILL SARGEANT!