Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML
Today, I threw a party. My drunk boyfriend decided to bring my 50-inch flatscreen TV downstairs from our bedroom. The TV didn't make it. FML
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
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Top comments
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
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Comments (376)
plexico 4
MILF!!!!
Jade_Rothwell 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Shouldn't she have known what you're mom sounds like? But what kind of boyfriend are you if you didn't bring your gf along?
tc710 0
how did you use you're incorrectly, and then use the correct one in the next line? fail
ryguy1997 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1. plasma sucks. LCD FTW! 2. Now they are very cheap because of the soon to be released 3D tv.
Lone_Wolf_099 5
Yup You can already buy 3d monitors for a comp I got one with my alienware.
HedgehogHead 0
y was she listenin 2 ur answerin machine? nosy.
jazziness 12
321 who even pays attention to that
blanquito 1
better make her pay for that shit.. dumbitch
rttr 18
He wanted to spend time with his mom. He doesn't have to be with his GF EVERY house of the day
dragonrider1959 18
He can have a life outside of her . The fact that you think he can't shows what an insecure little girl you are.
KrazyKatz3 26
I agree! Why celebrate your birthday without your live in girlfriend? If it was a family thing fine but doesn't sound it. Otherwise she should have been invited at least....
tayliarae 0
FYI but did you make her pay for the plasma?
cowmeleon 2
who even uses plasmas anymore? Isn't LED and LCD what's hot right now?
ChakatBlackstar 29
Some videophiles still prefer the quality of the plasma over the LED and LCD screens
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
purplebluetattoo 3
Totally. I would kill that bitch. Not literally but she should buy you all new shit and then dump her.
cselby 0
So, your girlfriend not only was absent from your birthday party, but doesn't know what your mom sounds like? Fake. If it somehow is true then wow, that girl is insane, i'd move far away from her..
affa99 0
You're mom sounds....like a ****? I suggest a lawsuit against your girlfriend =)
Chocolate_Chunk 2
you are mom? I'm pretty sure he's male
isaiaha11 2
i agree file a lawsuit
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
Ambsies 0
hopefully she now is your EX-girlfriend. She sounds insecure and kinda nuts.
Stupidpeople 0
She's got no right to smash your stuff, even if it was another woman who left a message.......what did your mum say on the answerphone for your GF to think it was another woman any way?
TheAngryKitten 0
Probably... "Oh you were sooooo good last night!"
skinonskin 0
Haha your mum sounds like a ****