Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
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Comments (281)
Kidkaplan 19
Hey! Menstrual jokes aren't funny. PERIOD!
Airborn0280 18
It's only a week, Man Up!
cheekyandsneaky 2
Lots of movies and tv.. The more stuff that keeps her quiet, busy, and entertaned the better!
jayhawkchik 4
F U! * throws other shoe*
vannahlol 6
Just because she's on her period doesn't mean she should get off with throwing shoes at your head.. FYL.
metalhead4740 14
I bid you luck my good sir. May the odds be ever in your favor...
kinz223 5
OR u actually did something wrong. Men.
Bludmagnus 13
No.. he most likely didn't. Men don't have to do anything wrong, as many of you make stuff up as you go along. WOMEN. .. and I am allowed to say that as much as you are allowed to say your lies....
svenskdod 2
Ditch the bitch brother, life's too short for crap like that and TRUST ME, there are sane females out there...
cavalera 1
Periods are a pain in the ass, yes, but who throws a friggin shoe?! Is this normal??
Cierus 5
In all honesty sometimes you freak on your period probably all those damn hormones. Shoe thing is messed up though I would say throw it back at her but you'd get put in jail for 'assault' laws are unfair to men ;) haha