Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
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Comments (281)
maddygirl820 10
Good luck
cannotthinkofone 10
I'm surprised no one has said it yet: Bloody Hell!
Ilikeurfmls 13
Better than pregnant!
liv_graham 7
Honestly, all the stereotypes about girls on their period are getting old. Can a girl not eat a cheesecake and watch 'The Notebook' without being accused of being on her period? When I'm on my period, I suck it up, and carry on with my life as if it was a normal day. And maybe she threw a shoe at your head because you're and asshole for assuming she's on her period.
Shrike 24
Sounds like "someone" needs some midol, STAT. And by "someone", I mean "liv_graham".
Quiet_one 22
Agreed, 54. The only time I've wanted to throw something at a guy was when he asked if I was on my period because apparently that's the only reason a woman would ever act angry toward a man. In reality I was nowhere near my period, and I was only mad at him because he was being a complete douche even before that comment. Arguing with guys is the most irritating thing in the world, because no matter what reason you have for being upset or how you try to explain it to them they always chalk it up to "she must be on her period, because there's no way she could have a legitimate reason to not be happy all the time." Or maybe all the guys I know are just assholes. I hope that's all it is.
pink_raindrops 26
I think it is just the guys you know. I've never had a guy react like that when I've been angry with them...not even when I was in high school with immature guys. Some guys are just jerks and act like that, but most guys don't and really shouldn't be lumped in with the few assholes.
Quiet_one 22
I hope you're right, 92. Maybe it's unfair to say "guys I know" - it's more like "guys I know who do things that piss me off" and that's certainly not all of them. Sadly, these guys are all well out of high school, so I don't know what their excuse is.
fantasyworld 39
Other than cramps I feel fine when I'm on my period.
ThexVengence 21
Better find some more cheese cake and movies.
AH1Zviper 15
Just be patient and endure the the one week of hell. It'll pay off later.
AH1Zviper 15
Damn it I can't edit it. The extra " the" isn't supposed to be there.
gymnastlove 4
CODE RED CODE RED EVACUATE THE PREMISES!
dabeast15 7
Shit dude! Just buy her some freaking whoopers or something
MR_RODSQUAD 11
I suggest you wear full body armor, and carry around a riot shield just to be safe.
Janice_Ian 13
Menstruation is not an excuse to act like a child and throw tantrums. FYL OP, your patience is either idiotic or admirable.