Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
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Comments (281)
jenniferunicorn 5
i dont know why but my friends always say im always happier when im on my period than when im not ..
neurodoc 1
So why r u so miserable all the time?
kultyre 7
I wonder how big the cheesecake was..
allblacksfan 7
So this is proof that of you submit your FML 3 or more times it will get submitted.
neurodoc 1
And there is that article in Time today regarding a comprehensive review of studies that says PMS doesn't exist !! I don't buy that article for a minute! (Btw PMS is not PMDD)
aj94w 4
In the 1980s, a woman was acquitted for murder because she was on her period.
neurodoc 1
Oh the good ol' temporary insanity plea
Ameel_fml 19
To be honest, I'm surprised there aren't more period-related crimes throughout history. I know I've had periods where I just feel like attacking anybody who so much as looks at me funny. Of course I never would actally do that...but daaaamn, if I had an appropriate outlet for that anger (e.g. a mugger tries to take my handbag, a gunman comes into my store, etc) I don't think my brain would be thinking rationally enough to NOT lash out! :O
lovelykisses86 2
bomb shelter bro.
AsianAdvent 2
Coincidentally (I Know TMI) I'm on mine..oh I don't like that movie, I'd rather watch anime. By the way, how lucky of her to still have the ability to eat!!! I get bloated, accompanied by migraines--truly a wounded animal D:
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
Hurray for you other girls that barely have any symptoms and can go about with your daily lives like everything's fine! But for some of us who get intense PMS and can get sucked into a sea of rage or sorrow at the drop of a dime, this is legit and fricking sucks. You can't call it a cry for attention just because you don't experience it and you don't know anyone that experiences it. To say the least, that's ridiculously rude. Anyway OP, at least you're on top on these things and know the warning signs so you didn't have to ask because that would have been REALLY bad lol. Good luck.
Raesin 21
No hun, it's because PMS doesn't exist. It is actually attention whoring and is used as an excuse for bitchy women to be bitchy and childish and get away with it. You only think it has an effect because it's so ingrained in our culture. In some parts of the world things like PMS and morning sickness aren't even a thing. No one suffers from PMS because it doesn't exist. The more you know~ Edit: Only the physical symptoms exist, the 'moody' part doesn't. You only get moody because you think you should get moody.
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
I'm glad you corrected yourself but the mental "moody" part does indeed exist whether you acknowledge it or not. Any reputable medical institution, as well as any health class anyone one in a developed country will take, says that PMS is identified by certain symptoms with irritability and depression (ranging from moderate to severe) more likely than not being one of them. If hormones are suddenly produced in the brain that aren't normally there, it'd make sense that something else (like mood) is suddenly out of whack. And (assuming you mean first world since thats all I can speak for) culture says that we should be hugging kittens, nailing the interview for our dream job, and being the epitome of feminine perfection despite our uterus renewing itself. I don't know what kind of part of culture tells women to feel like complete shit during their period but I'm sorry you're exposed to that.
Gottobekiddingme 7
DO NOT let her get away with such childish behavior. Just because a woman is hormonal is no reason to act like a spoiled child. Either punish her or dump her. If you live with this, you deserve what you get.
Locoluis 15
Agreed. It's not like you're married with children or something. This is the time when you decide whether to be alone or to be with someone who will treat you like shit every month.
melody309 35
"Punish her"? Are you serious? She's not a child. I can understand dumping her if he can't handle the way she is around that time of the month, but punishing her? I don't condone throwing things at people, but some women truly cannot help it when they're on their period. I myself am particularly irritable anyway, and it's multiplied by over 9000 while I'm on my period. If I'm provoked enough, I can get violent. I don't randomly throw shoes at people, and I try to control my emotions, but I honestly can't help it most of the time. Anyway, if you think you can punish a grown woman for perfectly natural behavior, I don't see many of your future relationships succeeding.
iHeartRKO 5
219 and 258... Seriously you two are probably forever alone.
aerogxt 7
Your life sucks, period.