Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
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Comments (281)
Sai_Run614 7
I bet that you have a huge school project to do. That will take you away from your female for a little while. haha
dashizam 10
How puerile! I mean, look at your profile pic! Trust me, if you do that to your girlfriend, you don't have a girlfriend.
LavenderLunacy14 7
Quit flexing.
doodlecloud 27
Awww...so young that you assume everyone can get out of something by doing a 'school project'! That's actually past the point of ignorant. It's just funny.
melij99 5
That would be safe to say. Unless you're around her, in such case say nothing!
matt98_fml 13
Run, run while you can.
Lunaa94 6
Ahm. If you're gonna run just cause a woman is on her period, I don't think your future relationships will last longer than 1 month :')
matt98_fml 13
That's very true. :) but when I said run while you can, I didn't mean it literally. I meant it in a comical way.
TurtleSmile 14
Patience now will pay off later. Good girlfriends understand when they're unreasonable during their period and afterwords they reward you. :) be patient. She's worth it.
mowmowlife 21
Er, she threw a shoe at him. In the event that she threw to maim or injure, I don't know that she is.
gracehi 33
I have to agree with 75 here. Menstruation is no excuse for violence.
annie_nk 23
Patience will help. Most of the time, women won't realize how bad they can be unless a third party points it out. When she isn't a raging hormonal mess, talk to her about trying to control the outbursts. If she acts like this every month, it's time for a talk.
jerrywayne 5
This man knows what he's talkin about and has wisdom beyond his years!
Crlnprz 11
Hey man, you kind of look like Charles Trippy
Skarkie321 18
75- It was a shoe! It's not like she threw a knife at him.
Hempseed 27
Do you enjoy having shoes thrown at you?
chesoes 8
just leave her alone for a while and dont go up to her unless she calls you (:
OldMemoriesFade 8
Ah, don't you just adore women, especially days before their period.
WCARlover 35
...or pregnant :o
WCARlover 35
Whoops I didn't realize this was already commented sorry :(
IPoopedOnU 12
They would already know if she was that hormonal... -.-
KatjaM 15
Nutella and Midol always helps. Good luck!
stargazur 9
When it's that time of the month I enjoy a good glass of cold juice :) maybe that's just me.
jem970 19
I need chocolate frosting and water. Lots and lost of water. Sometimes cookie dough to.
Havin 19
Mmmm cookie dough
ICastillo 25
Jokes about female hygiene aren't funny period.
unknown_user5566 27
I'm always amazed when I hear that women get THAT moody on their periods. I don't know anyone in my life who acts like that, and I certainly don't. Makes me wonder if some girls just like the extra attention they can get during Aunt Flo's visits.
ambylyn2010 3
All girls are different. Some it affect, some it don't. I get very irritable from being uncomfortable and very very crampy.
unknown_user5566 27
Agreed, and I get somewhat moody sometimes too. But so irritable that you start throwing things at people...? That just seems a bit ridiculous.
mizuki123 8
It doesn't effect me at all. :)
challan 19
My mom and I don't have pms, but my Aunt and cousin make you want to kill yourself if you're exposed to them for long periods (of period)of time. I am always shocked.
pink_raindrops 26
Anemia makes you rather weak and tired overall, making you sleep more than usual and kinda lounge around. You also get rather pale, and kinda look half dead if it gets bad. The anger/mood swings are just because of the hormones, not lack of iron.
Janice_Ian 13
I absolutely agree with #36 If it's an attention-seeking thing then it saddens me and I feel even worse for people who have to put up with it. Periods suck but they shouldn't be a ticket out of common courtesy and responsibility.
Eedeea 7
Just because your hormones don't fluctuate like others you can't disbelieve their emotional state. Consider yourself lucky.
Janice_Ian 13
We can't disblieve someone's emotional state but we can say we're sceptical of it, and we can most definitely judge someone's reaction to it. Throwing a shoe at someone is inexcusable by a bad mood.
yankfan89 27
It all depends on the woman. My coworker didn't really have PMS symptoms until after she had her two kids. OP should go out get another cheesecake and another movie based upon a Nicholas Sparks book.
thefreelove 9
The only thing my girlfriend ever was on her period was super horny. It was a lose-lose, but we could still dry hump!
genericfmluser 17
I punch my ex in the face because he got in between me and my dad arguing :/ somw girls are just psychotic