Anonymous
United Kingdom
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Woodland, United States
Denial
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
mirrorfad
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Glass houses and all that
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Anonymous
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
the only sober one
San Diego, United States
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Anonymous
New York, United States
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
BoomHeadshot
Australia
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
AnastasiyaNicholas
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Dazed and confused
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Jillian Drute
United States
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should keep you vermouth shut, act very Cosmopolitan, and rum like the wind instead of letting your bad feelings ferment. Just whiskey yourself away for a while (maybe to Manhattan?) from that toxic situation. Maybe go someplace warm, watch a tequila sunrise and have sex on the beach with a girl named Margarita. Staying and wining or making a big brewhaha won't help. But be supportive and there is a martini tiny chance she will liquor problem eventually.
holstarox 2
She's not being racist. She's simply stating that she's NOT slaughtering a certain race. Being racist is hating a person or people because of their nationality. Get your facts right before you start ridiculing people
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Comments (79)
FFML_314 12
I'm not sensing the problem here, OP. I am smashed by 9 AM everyday. Some may say I have a problem, but hey, at least I'm not out lighting shitty bags on fire and slaughtering Asians and homeless people.
iSnowboard 0
ur being racist to my family my culture and my religion please stop
FFML_314 12
Heh, what? Racist?
holstarox 2
She's not being racist. She's simply stating that she's NOT slaughtering a certain race. Being racist is hating a person or people because of their nationality. Get your facts right before you start ridiculing people
FFML_314 12
Thank you, 7. I didn't realize mentioning a specific race was considered racist. You are far too sensitive. You're also a bit creepy, replying to all of my comments. Good thing I'm too tired to tell you how much of a baby you are.
iSnowboard 0
but saying people throw bags of flaming poo at black people is racist in my opinion
v1kt4r 13
If your culture involves lighting shitty bags on fire and slaughtering asians and homeless people, can you really blame anyone for being "racist" towards it
FFML_314 12
What the hell are you talking about, you crazy fool? Who even mentioned black people or throwing bags of poo anywhere? LOL!
iSnowboard 0
oh ..... still don't be racist it's a bad habit
v1kt4r 13
wtf!?!?! what black ppl, who, where??? Are you high iSnowboard???
MizzKrista 0
What the..? #11. she didn't say anything about throwing it at black people she just said throwing it, as in on porches..
FFML_314 12
Oh, shut up. I wasn't being racist. Mentioning a race isn't racist. Now I'm confused if you're black or Asian. Either way, you're sensitive and whiny.
MizzKrista 0
What the...? #7. she didn't even say black people. She just said throwing it, as in on porches..
iSnowboard 0
I'm tired........
v1kt4r 13
iSnowboard my avatar is talking about you
CloudEnvy 17
Wow, FFML_314 you're such a racist.
_streets_ 19
lol wow how the hell was her comment racist? Like seriously calm the heck down.
iSnowboard 0
I can't read those small letters mail it to me
FFML_314 12
CloudEnvy, I will eat your limbs.
CloudEnvy 17
Please don't eat my limbs, I quite like them.
FFML_314 12
I quite like them as well. *Eats legs* Your legs, not mine. Wait, whoops.
tygerarmy 35
Eating limbs is racist against cannibals please stop making fun us as we are only doing what comes natural. This message has been brought to you by Drunk Drivers Against Mothers.
lzenon 0
stop talking about cannibalism you're making me drool.
flamegrilled123 3
*tries to avoid boner
ArthursLifeSucks 2
Potentially your fault. What are you doing that she feels the need to be wasted all day?
BleakAsFcuk 0
Dear god... What is this? I don't even...
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
FFML_13 don't be part of the racism problem. be part of the solution. stop throwing poo at black people
Sisaac 0
Obvious troll is obvious.
samantha_142 0
you guys are so weird. damn.
ferrariic 0
trolol?
taylorrswift 0
I agree # 69...
alexd10293 0
isnowboard, props on getting 5 comments moderated in a row, I've never seen that before!
Winchester1990 19
Have fun dying of liver failure later in life. My dad had a drinking problem, he died that way at age 48
cmihran 1
:/ FYL OP
ampsmagss 0
sucks
ScreamAimFire 0
It's party time somewhere :)
enoughgrace 4
when your smashed there can be no secrets.
Shokz992 0
Are you sure you're from the UK? You said "Mom"... And "brain-box", whatever that is. The "booze" makes me sort of believe it, but still...
boatkicker 5
OP could be attempting to avoid "YDI for saying Mum/not knowing how to spell Mom" comments that end up in the comments of every FML that spells things in non-American ways. or OP could just be in the UK, and actually be American. or OP just spells certain words the American way in informal situations because they like the spellings better. I'm American, but I write "Mum" and "grey" instead of "Mom" and "gray" because I like the other spellings better. I dunno about brain-box though. I've never heard it, anywhere here. Smashed out of her brain, but not brain-box. Booze is pretty international though.
labudamike 6
wow just about to write basicly what she said and I agree booze international and brain box = WTF?
iliketurdles 7
Agreed. Isn't it smashed out of my face in UK? but what do I know.. never drank in my whole life.
stevenmx86 8
Op I can't read your horribly annoying depiction of the situation and be sad.. It sounds sad but because of the way you said it, ydi... Heck maybe you're the reason..
asherb0y 9
wooooord!!!
perdix 31
Thanks for wasting my time with "trying to get smashed out of her brain-box with booze" when "drinking" would have sufficed. You're quite the drama queen. If you were my kid, it would take something stronger than booze to allow me to tolerate you all day.
Deviantation 0
some bud would work :)
dandawg69 0
hide the booze or swap it out with some other substance, maybe she'll be so out of her mind she won't notice… nahhh just do an intervention
coballan55 0
seriously... ydi for talking like that...