Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of six months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, while my girlfriend is in hospital, I'm left at home with her mom. What I didn't know is that her mom's medication makes her do strange things. I learned that right away when she took a seat next to me, completely naked, on the couch. My girlfriend's mom is my grandmother's age. FML
Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be all alone in this big house." FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML
Today, I returned home from my aunt's funeral abroad to find my boyfriend in bed with my sister, who claimed she was unable to fly due to the flu. FML
Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML
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Top comments
Devikarawr 0
wow sucks to be you.... what a mean person. both your gf and your cousin.
ohheykiwi 2
People, she told him she had to spend time with her grandmother, but it was actually his cousin. She was cheating on him with his cousin! FYL, OP. This truly sucks.
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Comments (225)
BadOwner 0
im not saying ydi, op, but what else could she do. imagine if the love of your life was gone for 7 months, and you were super-horny! she shouldnt have done your cousin, but she was sexually starving!
ihatestupidppl 0
Um, if it was really the "love of her life", she wouldn't have cheated no matter how "super-horny" she was. That's what a vibrator is for.
blue892772 0
I thought you meant her grandmother was ACTUALLY your cousin, as in you guys were oddly related without realising.
Essentials 0
time to kill the cousin and ditch the girl.
zzzallday 0
rough, dude. Dump her, ignore him at reunions, and get some better company. Thanks for your service to our country.
rawrsayshaley 0
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear that, OP. That really does suck. But thank you so much for serving our country. Secondly, for the people who say that the deployed-and-cheating FMLs are "repetitive" or that they "aren't funny," there really haven't been that many of these types of FMLs at all. Maybe three total; this is just the second one in a short period of time. And whoever said that FML was some sort of contest to see who had the "funniest" FML? It's a place to post things that basically **** your life up. And this definitely qualifies. Thirdly, I'd like to point out that you don't exactly get to CHOOSE when you get deployed and for how long in any branch of the military. It's not like you can say, "Oh, no, that doesn't work for me, how about next time?" to the flipping MILITARY. It's not the OP's fault at all that his girlfriend cheated on him. And finally, for those who say that he deserved it for dating while in the service...WTF. Some people are in the military for 20+ years. How can you tell somebody not to have any sort of significant other at all during that time?
crazysk8guy 0
mabye his cousin is her grandmother and he just found out that they are realated
K66J 0
Just on a side note, If your cousin really was her grandmother, does that make her your great grand cousin?
drummer_dude 0
1. There was no incest involved, the OP was being sarcastic about her "sick grandmother" being his cousin. 2. As #97 said, this is just the second FML of this type in the past week or so. 3. FYL OP, she shouldn't have done that, people are saying "oh she's love starved and YDI for dating while in the armed forces". I don't see what they're on about seeing as how they have no right to tell people when they can and cannot go out with someone... Good look in Iraq!
kaelendra 0
At least you found out before deployment not in a letter or after thinking she was waiting for you for so long.
kukopia 0
As a Gulf war vet, I stand at attention and salute you for your service and sacrifices. Revenge is best served cold. Finish your deployment planning your revenge on both of them. Find their weaknesses and take advantage of them.