Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of six months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, while my girlfriend is in hospital, I'm left at home with her mom. What I didn't know is that her mom's medication makes her do strange things. I learned that right away when she took a seat next to me, completely naked, on the couch. My girlfriend's mom is my grandmother's age. FML
Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be all alone in this big house." FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML
Today, I returned home from my aunt's funeral abroad to find my boyfriend in bed with my sister, who claimed she was unable to fly due to the flu. FML
Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML
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Top comments
Devikarawr 0
wow sucks to be you.... what a mean person. both your gf and your cousin.
ohheykiwi 2
People, she told him she had to spend time with her grandmother, but it was actually his cousin. She was cheating on him with his cousin! FYL, OP. This truly sucks.
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Comments (225)
joshieboy84 0
FYL. Jody was tearing that up while you were deployed. thanks for your service
anonymous496 0
thank you OP
mrs_franklin 0
Agreed #23. U wouldn't hear any of these fmls if military wives were actually ******* faithful. Not saying all military wives r hoes, but 2 the ones who r, COME ON they have enough to ******* worry about over there without having 2 worry about the woman they love cheating on them. If ur not going 2
Rob1234 0
Usmc is no longer in iraq also we don't have 7 month deployments. The fact that you impostered the bravest men in the world sickens me.
peschken 1
Stop being retarded, this FML is 2 years old. But hey, who am I to expect a marine to use his brain
myfaircady 0
He was on leave during his deployment. And those do exist. And peschken, no need to insult his intelligence for being a marine. Marines have to score higher on the ASVAB than any other branch. So they have to have something going on in there.
LASERZ7 4
that was scarcastic right?
ricojordanrai 0
why are people saying he shouldn't have joined the army? he's in the marines and Is fighting for your country. what would you do if you got bombed or shot because nobody was protecting you? if his girlfriend couldn't cope she shouldn't be a relationship knowing their partner would have to go away for q period of time. plus his cousin is not her grandma because they would be related and that would be wrong. he was being sarcastic by saying his cousin was the same person. sincerely smart 12 year old
llamakidderp 0
#50, I agree. #10 (and all you other neanderthals who are bitching), clearly you don't know what it is like being deployed or having a loved one deployed. Having a loved one being deployed for any time is hard. The men and women returning home have as much right to post on FML as any civilian does. So really, shut it. Have some respect for the military. They're devoting their lives to protect their country and our right to post on sites like FML and MLIA. Go become educated then come back here and complain. To the OP, ty for your service. It is appreciated. Your girlfriend was obviously a moron and does NOT deserve someone as amazing as you.
kingofchips 0
Wow you don't deserve that shit bro dump her ass if you haven't already.
inloveee 0
what a bitch
Khoree 0
That's just so wrong. Hope you didn't stay with her!!