Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML
Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML
Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML
Today, it's been a little while since I found out that my parents are getting a divorce. They'd been married for 25 years and my father got bored and lost feelings. My mother is crying and howling on the bathroom floor right now. It has happened before, but since it was in our upstairs bathroom, I could open the door with a knife. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
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Top comments
aFatFuck 0
She's kind of a bitch
hoonyer 17
Shes gonna milk him for all hes got
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Comments (76)
hoonyer 17
Shes gonna milk him for all hes got
pickles1994 18
That's a bitch move :/
enonymous 9
I wish some one would milk me for all I have. I have a lot of milk to give
woahbro2slow 0
Well I hope you will be able to decide who to live with.
UnicornHunter 12
I like the OP's mom. I'd tottaly live with the mom.
eminemchick 19
But will the husband listen? I wouldnt let my husband kick me out if I ****** spent the last of my life savings on renovating the house.
xoconnie 8
why in the world would u agree to help her w/ plans to renovate the house after knowing what shes going to do. thats sick. guess the apple didnt fall far from the tree.....
MichellinMan 20
Wait... What?!
Dalliance 4
Assuming there's been no abuse or adultery on the husband's part, if the wife wants the divorce, then SHE should be the one to move out. Period. Does she expect to get the house, half his money, AND the kids, with child support coming in until they turn eighteen? What a raw deal for him.
enonymous 9
56 welcome to being a man. Women get to shoot a bowling ball out one time lasting 2-14hours and the men get one shoved up their ass for 18 years repeatedly.
FarSide 23
Greedy bitch.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
That's awful. OP doesn't mention abuse/adultery so assuming there isn't any... OP's mom is a huge bitch. Take all his money and then divorce him, and take half of what he has left? If I was the OP, I'd tell the father. He deserves to know.
PutItIn 8
I've seen farmers milk heffers, not the other way around.
balljoints 8
Welcome to the life of today's bitches. Anyone surprised here?
newzealand 28
Black mail that bitch for what ever you want. And then tell your dad
iampetard 0
Screw her tell him
WCARlover 35
Exactly. Don't let her do that! That is truly evil
Sweej 1
Although I completely agree on telling him, OP COULD use that as blackmail, and get whatever the hell she wants from mom, and THEN tell dad... That's exactly what I would do.
white16sox 19
22 you're evil. Brilliant but evil.
Sweej 1
Lol, thanks 25.
leadman1989 16
You're a little psychopath, I like that.
loserman67 36
Great reply and advice - DAD NEEDS TO KNOW
aFatFuck 0
She's kind of a bitch
Ruler3000 17
Kind of? No, she IS.
GrooveSponge 0
FALCON PUNCH THE BITCH
kaylapple 1
x
pickles1994 18
I prefer falcon kick, I find it more effective
360XBOXFTW 0
My friend falcon kicked me by accident once. It hurt.
eminemchick 19
i wish "ChucktheNorris" was here so he could recommend a roundhouse.
good41thing198 7
I'd make listen to Eminem's crap-rap. That would be crueler than any kick.
MichellinMan 20
37 THATS A DAMN OPINION!
eeppiicc 8
37, I'd make her listen to u bitch about people's music!
eminemchick 19
37- you. ************. :O
minisquid 9
FALCOOON...... PAAAWWWWNNNCHH
Eliseopwns 22
YESZ!!
bball234 6
definitely tell your dad.
BentlieBabe44 6
Great wife..
krushr 3
One word: leverage.
SnowFlakeInAK 7
Yup. Blackmail material. I see concert tickets,later curfew,lager allowance and maybe even a car being possible with that kind if knowledge!
SnowFlakeInAK 7
*larger and *of not if Damn fingers O.
valalvax 13
Oh, I thought you meant an alcohol allowance
SnowFlakeInAK 7
Lol That too!
bignate222 1
exactly what I was thinkin!
NHLbound22 8
little high maintenance bitch I think
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Tell you're dad, she obviously a major bitch.
takanuva0123 0
That's ****** up