Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of six months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, while my girlfriend is in hospital, I'm left at home with her mom. What I didn't know is that her mom's medication makes her do strange things. I learned that right away when she took a seat next to me, completely naked, on the couch. My girlfriend's mom is my grandmother's age. FML
Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be all alone in this big house." FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML
Today, I returned home from my aunt's funeral abroad to find my boyfriend in bed with my sister, who claimed she was unable to fly due to the flu. FML
Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML
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Top comments
Devikarawr 0
wow sucks to be you.... what a mean person. both your gf and your cousin.
ohheykiwi 2
People, she told him she had to spend time with her grandmother, but it was actually his cousin. She was cheating on him with his cousin! FYL, OP. This truly sucks.
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Comments (225)
catherinee_ 0
just saw that your name was "fusmc". Oorah =] but there are women out there that stay faithful to their husbands and boyfriends while they are over seas, and husbands and boyfriends who do the same for their wives. My brother was able to find someone who remained faithful to him while he was in Iraq for a year. I'm sure one day you'll find someone who won't cheat while you're fighting for our country.
stone_light 0
the true irony of this is that back in Iraq they would stone the bitch for this.
stone_light 0
@ # 114 last "there" should be "they're" ; )
heartsthecamo08 0
I HATE girls who cheat when there man is gone over seas, or at AT.... these are guys who fight for our country and you cant keep you legs closed!!! There are girls out there who will be true to you, and respect you and what you do in the military, no matter how long you are gone!!
inface2b 0
so ur saying ur cousin is a old lady?
bartender_fml 0
im getting tired of these FMLs that are "caught my gf/bf with my best friend/friend/random person/cousin" its getting old. We need some new stuff around here
I_am_Lathan 0
Susie Rottencrotch.
Veolin 0
WTF is with all this crap about him WANTING to just up and leave her for seven months and not call her? Where the hell are you people getting your info? Unless of course, you can magically read this guys mind through the net. Yeah, he was deployed for seven months, but not all soldiers go "Oh! Oh! *waves hand frantically* ME! Pick me, I wanna get deployed!" Its a hazard of the job, a job that is one of the few stable ones left for some people who have no college education and need to support their families and themselves. Do yourself a favor and stop generalizing and making assumptions about every soldier you come across. You just make yourself look like an idiot.. @OP: I do have to agree with what someone else said regarding her only being your gf so she wasn't obligated to wait for you. But I still think it was wrong because she should have ended the relationship instead of leading you on and lieing to you if she didn't want to be with you.
blahnoopoo 0
Im sooo sorry!! I hate girls like that!! My husband is in the marines girl like that give the rest of us a bad name when we are faithful. Thanks for defending our country!!
CynicComedian 2
What a bitch! No respect for you as a boyfriend or a serviceman. Thank you for your service first off, and I hope you find someone a lot better than that.