Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML
Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SexyMexi21 23
Ew. man I'm sorry. hopefully they find who it is!
wRIPPERw 23
Chin up, OP. Those are just things. And flush the toilet...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
DreadfulBelle 3
Actually you were burglarized. robbing means there was some sort of force used against you, which there wasn't. This is a common mistake though. If you didn't flush it, it can be used as DNA evidence. Hopefully any electronics that were taken you have the serial numbers for, otherwise you most likely won't be able to recover them... Good luck op!
BreathingClover 19
**** you and your technicalities
tweetypie 18
Obviously she's drunk. Don't you see her name?
ober80 6
Cops should use that for DNA. What is this guy the shitty bandit?
Greg1986 13
Wow that's terrible. It's bad enough to steal from you, but to leave your toilet like that is messed up. What a douchebag.
1dvs_bstd 41
talk about adding salt to injury. hope they catch those criminals!
91hayek 31
It's 'insult to injury' not 'salt to injury' though 'adding salt to the wound' would have been just as acceptable, which is what I think you meant but ended up fusing both.
maharb01 17
check the tanks, make sure they didn't upper deck you for good measure. flushing ought to tell the tale. . .and make the problem go away
HanBroman 20
She lost some expensive belongings and the worst part was seeing someone else's deuce?
dipshitpoopyhead 7
They may have stolen your stuff but the least the could have done is flush their giant turd.
weveallbeenthere 30
your house was burglarized, not robbed. the Shit part is more disturbing, guess the burglar had absolutely no human decency.
IceCreamm_fml 14
Ain't that some shit?