Anonymous
Australia
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Mike
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Starving Ultimatum
United States
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
paywithpoop
United States
Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML
Anonymous
Woodland, United States
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
xobeachbabi428ox
United States
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
BedazzledAlpaca
Englewood, United States
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
why me
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
XYZee
Rockmart, United States
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Den Dungen, Netherlands
Where am I?
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Username
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
The Voice
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk, saying, "Shut the fuck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
Top comments
albinorhino 0
well that shit musta been worth it huh...
Kervik 0
"I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD." Yup, the whole internet wanted to hear that.
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Comments (104)
Sage1314 4
Awesome.
Zezing 0
Ydi for not having venomous guard snakes
Sun_Kissed18 25
... I now wish I had venomous gaurd snakes. That would be awesome.
matt5217 4
reminds me of the movie cop out
onlychildFTW 34
Until they bite you. Then not so awesome.
Silent_Harmony 3
And you didn't hear it?
SueSylvester_fan 0
Of course he didn't hear it. When people go #2 they grunt and make lots of noises.
albinorhino 0
well that shit musta been worth it huh...
Zhejan 0
And he didn't rob your poo?
123man 11
Hear it?! I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD. He was probably gruntin' so hard he wouldn't have heard sirens outside.
timtam24 0
good to know
Kervik 0
"I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD." Yup, the whole internet wanted to hear that.
Silent_Harmony 3
LMFAO!
Zezing 0
I did
Polionixon 2
LOL!
99MDC 0
Shitty.
Gen_Knowledge 0
At least they didn't get your Laptop. Good turn, to take it with you while dumping.
Ellowise_fml 0
Haha :) This makes me chuckle. But I'm sorry :(
skyeyez9 25
sorry. My friends place was robbed while they were home too. the burglar cut a hole in the glass james bond style, no noise, nothing. Stole his moms jewerly, digital camera, 2 laptops. Burglar emptied my friends school gym bag an stuffed the loot in there. Shit happens. And some burglars are very sneaky that you may not even be aware it is happening.
haxx_fml 0
Were you scared shitless? :)
starlalove 0
LOL.
CrazeDblaze 0
lmfao