Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML
Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
SexyMexi21 23
Ew. man I'm sorry. hopefully they find who it is!
wRIPPERw 23
Chin up, OP. Those are just things. And flush the toilet...
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Comments (201)
lkfoster1 7
FYL
annie_nk 23
There's a button for that.
lameuser 23
"Thieves"? How do you know it was thieves instead of just a thief?
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
I imagine from the quantity taken.
SuperCasual 13
What?
A07 48
Maybe the unflushed shit is the robber's trademark.
91hayek 31
The press should nickname him Turd Burglar. That would give him notoriety, but not the kind he wanted.
killthedead 13
My trademark was flushing, but nobody ever mentioned my robberies???
dudeman1212 22
DNA sample!
Adam5858 17
Sorry op.Not even funny from the robbers.I suppose you could look at the bright side that they gave you sonething
gjikvtj 18
I killed myself 8 times reading this comment
droid1126 25
Two things. 1. You don't use caps at the beginning of every word in a sentence. 2. That made no sense
NicH1799 20
Do you have nationwide? They'll replace all ruined items, such as that toilet.
tattooedcowboy 6
as Forrest Gump says shit happens