rian
Redesign
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
pillowless
United States
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Anonymous
Wild night, huh?
Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML
wheatsnake
Australia
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Sarah
Penhold, Canada
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Baltimore, United States
Suspicious activity
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Ughhhhhh
Not so smooth criminal
Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML
Sad
United States
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
WTFwhywouldyoudothat
United Kingdom
Put it all back
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
Fuck AI
Gotta keep those data centers irrigated
Today, my house was broken into and my computer was stolen. Fortunately, I have cloud backups of all my work; unfortunately, hardware prices have gone through the roof and I won't be able to replace that computer soon. FML
Top comments
Wadlaen 24
Sounds personal...😅
cuz803 46
That's a warning shot OP. You need to tool up and be ready for the next round! Do some DNA experimenting on the fecal matter, trace down the culprit and steal all their fiber resources, and leave them milk, cheese, and a box of tums. It will cause them constipation thus evening the odds.
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Comments (3)
Wadlaen 24
Sounds personal...😅
cuz803 46
That's a warning shot OP. You need to tool up and be ready for the next round! Do some DNA experimenting on the fecal matter, trace down the culprit and steal all their fiber resources, and leave them milk, cheese, and a box of tums. It will cause them constipation thus evening the odds.
SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8
Who’d you piss off?