Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML
Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML
Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
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Top comments
Warden1986 16
Maybe you should give it catnip first, then try the laser pointer...
poppysoda 4
Us cats are not all easily amused.
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Comments (201)
winnerme123 8
That totally sucks. I could make my cat chase a laser pointer for hours if I had the spare time. That is the laziest cat in the world.
Kiki242 19
Get a game system. Endless entertainment.
zandalee 20
Get another cat to play with the other one. Cats love having a friend to play with.
outoftown 27
#18, or will hate the other cat and fight. Either way, they'll keep busy.
vocaloidtiger 12
18, I don't think that OP was as worried about that cat's entertainment as she was about her own.
Calyx_fml 22
You need a more powerful laser. Then she'll pay attention.
AmericanJedhead 10
Well thats the cats personal preference, nothing you can do about that, but if you just bought him, he might still be getting used to his new surroundings, might be a few days before he plays and gets comfortable.
saIty 17
My cats a rapper. His name? Wiska Lifa
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I have two cats that sing. Lady Paw Paw and Kitty Purry. I also have a dog who raps about 'YOLO'. I call him Homeless.
saIty 17
Perhaps our pets should make a song together. They'd be a hit on Youtube!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Nah, all my cats sing about are kissing other female cats and bad romances. And the dog is not allowed to talk. I'll do a verse or two, though! The world has yet to experience a singing chipmunk--OH WAIT
Rocky007 15
Take it back and exchange it for one that operates correctly.
VeganVampyre 27
I know (or at least, sincerely hope!) that you're joking, but that's really not funny. It's comments/attitudes like this which cause people to actually treat animals like they're machines that can be bought, sold, not taken care of, etc and nothing bad will happen because animals don't have feelings or rights. And that, in my opinion, is the absolute biggest problem this world has today. It's terrible. So please don't make comments like that about a living creature.
DocBastard 40
Vampyre - If you know it's a joke (and a decent one), why give him grief? It was not offensive in any way. If you really think people mistreating animals is the world's biggest problem, I have some REALLY bad news for you.
kiraleann 16
39 takes the internet wayyyyy too seriously.
outoftown 27
#39, VV, I've never known a pet owner who didn't have that thought at one time or another. Or a parent, for that matter. Oh, yeah, and siblings and... well, you get the idea.
keylimecat87 3
YDI for getting a cat in the first place. My dogs love laser pointers.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You need to get the the cat's Spazz-axle checked out. That's the organ that makes cats freak the **** out about weird stuff.
shadevil75 6
My cat, Bob, would only chase the laser for a minute then stop, unless it got by his rear end. He didn't like it by his butt. Bob also hated fish flavored anything and canned tuna. I miss him everyday.
featherygoose 9
Nobody cares.
lolmandi 9
Not nice^^
kimg0885 23
I have a dog named marley