Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
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Top comments
ojoRojo 27
I’m not seeing how that’s a bad thing??
Marcella1016 32
Maybe OP doesn’t like the idea of chasing rats or getting stuck in trees. The 9 lives thing would be pretty cool for it, though. Embrace it, OP!
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Comments (5)
ojoRojo 27
I’m not seeing how that’s a bad thing??
Marcella1016 32
Maybe OP doesn’t like the idea of chasing rats or getting stuck in trees. The 9 lives thing would be pretty cool for it, though. Embrace it, OP!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Understandable if he was shining it at your face, but it's on you if you were swatting at it while he was aiming at your arm or something.
Yudith 28
I hope you got the super-limber-yoga-aficionado part and not the couch-potato-won't-lift-a-finger part. You might want to trim your claws a bit too.