Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML
Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML
Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
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Top comments
Warden1986 16
Maybe you should give it catnip first, then try the laser pointer...
poppysoda 4
Us cats are not all easily amused.
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Comments (201)
kimosabi55068 6
My wife's enormously fat cat just stares at you when you use the laser pointer like he's saying "I know I'm as big as a cow, but give me some credit you asshole.". It's left me very disappointed
sugarglitterkiss 4
mine doesn't eaither. my cat is just a straight up bitch.
mollymayan 3
Wrap foil around the cat's legs. It will not harm them, it's just funny to watch them try and shake it off.
oxbananaxannaxo 4
What is wrong with all of you? A cat, or any pet, is meant to be a companion; not a source of entertainment. That's what you have a television for. That's not to say you can't play with a cat, but the purpose of play should be enrichment and bonding- not something to do when you get bored of your ignorant life.
Hellbound_Alleee 14
Honestly. Try a piece pf string, or a feather, or a catnip toy. Sheesh, these are also cat toys, and they are also entertaining. Don't make your cat miss out on that kind of bonding because you wanted to play with a laser toy. That's not fair to the cat.
Isa_fml 20
My Siamese cat doesn't seem to be able to see the laser pointer at all, but his eyesight isn't great. There are plenty of other toys he likes, though.
Sicilysstallion 2
Maybe instead of buying a cat you could have purchased a 20 foot ***** to shove up your ass , there's your entertainment
SoultheWolf 19
One of my cats doesn't like lazers too, the reason she knows she can't catch them. But if you get a string or yarn she'll go nuts.
andanotherthing 4
Your life sucks because your cat won't chase a laser? Read posts from other people and then come back when you have something worth complaining about.
Jemm_fml 29
The most hilarious thing about all of this is that most of you are helping the OP find a new way to torture the cat lmfao