Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I finally convinced my shy new cat to come out from under the bed and hang out with me on the couch. I felt like a true cat whisperer until, in the middle of petting her, she jumped up, knocked over my mug, and spilled hot cocoa all over my book. She then looked at me as if I was the one who messed up. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
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Top comments
lionandthelamb61 9
It probably sensed your fear.
toelie 26
If she peed on you, it means she considers you her territory. Take the compliment. Beats having your eyes scratched out anyway.
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Comments (38)
Raddaya 3
Just be happy you're not the guy who picked up a kitty so ungently it shat all over him...Though that does suck, poor you...I hate cats, dogs are much better imo!
atomicJ 0
that's better than being scratched
macho4819 0
not even close lol ill take a scratch anyday >_<
rinzlerkitty94 31
You can get really sick from cat scratches.
lionandthelamb61 9
It probably sensed your fear.
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Live and learn.
mariazzz 5
Yuck. Cats are so annoying. I'm with no.1 dogs are the best. send your friend the dry-cleaning bill. That cat pee must have an awful smell....
waswashere 0
meow!
cheif_legit 0
your lucking it didnt turn into a flying ***** and shit in your eye
toelie 26
If she peed on you, it means she considers you her territory. Take the compliment. Beats having your eyes scratched out anyway.
dgraves21 6
Dog guy here through and through...however I got a cat too. But I turned it into a dog so it's cool. Only scratches if you touch it's butt. I toss that cat around like a rag doll and he wants to be petted.
tona01 16
he tried something perverted... that went horribly wrong
Jimboom 12
Cats can sense evil. You probably just scared the piss out of it.