Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML
Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML
Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
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Top comments
Warden1986 16
Maybe you should give it catnip first, then try the laser pointer...
poppysoda 4
Us cats are not all easily amused.
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Comments (201)
doglover100 29
Sucks. My dog used to love chasing the flashlight light, and chewing on toys and old shoe laces. Now she doesn't do anything. She never wants to play with her toys with someone and just sleeps.
osm1989_fml 6
People, just because OP said she bought the cat doesn't necessarily mean that she couldn't have adopted, so stop freaking out. I adopted my cat, but I still had to pay for him, meaning that I technically bought him... Where are you adopting pets where they're just handing out cats for free? Sometimes I think people get pissy on here just for the sake of being pissy.
stuckONsingle 4
Mine won't either lol but the dog does xp
LiterallyTay 1
My adopted cat doesn't like catnip, laser pointers and pretty much every toy made for cats. >.>
Nekoo_fml 1
It's too smart to chase a stupid laser-point ;)
Alpha2121 0
Can you return it
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Just so you know, and any other cat owner who is all "LAWL I LOVE THE LAZER THING:" That can seriously damage your cat's eyes even if you aren't aiming the lazer directly into them. Even if you only keep it on the floor or on the wall and they chase after it, you're doing damage to their eyes. So stop it. It's cruel.
Nitrogenica 6
um... what?
Isa_fml 20
Sources please.
chippa 24
You should enjoy giving your kitty neck scratches and belly rubs. They're only there so you can give them attention, and -only- the kind of attention that they are looking for. And if they just so happen to like to play, that's a bonus for you.
isamisis 9
Sounds like you got the world's Smartest Cat.
divadevon 0
That's why you adopt, you moron.