Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 8 year-old niece gave me back a Fluttershy plush I gifted her 4 years ago. When I told her it was a gift from the heart, she insisted on exchanging it for something of equal value. FML
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Today, I bought my niece a huge stuffed teddy bear for her birthday because I wanted to be the cool aunt/uncle. She hugged it, smiled, and then immediately hugged the gift bag instead, because apparently it made a "funny" crinkly noise. I have officially been defeated by packaging. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
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Top comments
rhysfucker 24
C'mon...you didn't buy anything like that at We Be Toys. You know where you bought it; the sex shop. YDI.
mike7800 8
are we not concerned with the fact that these things exist in the first place?
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Comments (204)
lord_meloetta 20
Cloppers, cloppers everywhere. the world is gonna shrivel up and die.
Phoenix_fml 13
where are you shopping? no respectable toy store would carry such an item. the places that would, you shouldn't be buying presents for your underage niece in. YDI
jayray313 21
Seriously, where the hell did you buy this toy for your "niece?" I call bullshit.
omgomgomg_NO 13
no no no, #79...didn't you know that ALLLLLLLLL the stories on FML are TRUE?!?!?! I mean, that's what I was told in a message from the site moderator (or whoever it was) I got after I called b******t on an fml. and then my comment was deleted because, even though the fml was so ridiculous, I was rude for calling the person out. Good luck.
sanecatlady 13
How could something like a cute, innocent cartoon and toy franchise turn into something so vulgar? I have no problem with guys just liking MLP but the whole Clopper thing is gross! The other week I bought a G1 Pony of Firefly at a thrift store. I will now take her out, reflect on my murdered childhood, and cry.
bobslawnservice 16
Before the internet they would go through a phase where they were turned on by something inappropriate, appropriately ashamed, get over it and move on. Now the internet gives forums where degenerates can get together, give each other positive reinforcement and support so they never grow out of it.
Axel5238 29
Regardless of what you are into unfortunately there is a place to support it online. Though I do have concerns of the generation of man/women children at 20-25 that are sleeping in pikachu pajamas, getting aroused by cartoons and can't ask someone on a date without a panic attack. WTF happened?
doodlecloud 27
...what's wrong with sleeping in pikachu pyjamas? As long as someone's a responsible, working adult during the day is it really so terrible to preserve a bit of their fun, childish side, in the privacy of their own home no less? I have sonic the hedgehog bedsheets and pokemon pyjamas. Maybe one say I'll get bored of them but I'm hardly gonna get rid of them just because I reach a certain birthday.
Axel5238 29
Nothing, but there are are people that are holding onto childhood too much and aren't growing up emotionally. Nostalgia is a great thing, though it can be over done. For all those that like that fine, but there is a growing number of young adults that aren't letting go.
grgnyce 8
How can you make that kind of mistake OP...you've got to be smarter than that!
Lexi1010 3
Oh my god lol! such an awkward situation xD
bobslawnservice 16
A My Little Pony sex toy for adult males. There really are some defectives wondering aroud out there.
wiseKat99 13
Umm, you deserve it. Read the description next time
LostInTheZone11 29
The Bronie weirdness level just went off the charts.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Just tell her it's a secret compartment and hide the packaging.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
That would work. When i was a kid i had these pregnant plush puppy toys with velcro bellies, It came with babies, i would store my candy in there sometimes. They had pregnant barbie, baby born dolls that went to the toilet and so many other crass toys as i recall...If kids toys are anything like they used to be, i doubt she'll question a plush pony with a hole in the back. At least till she's older. I'm just hoping it wasn't pre-owned.