Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML
Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML
Today, my father cut my hair for the first time. Now, I always have to wear a cap when I go outside. FML
Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML
Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
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Top comments
Melix 31
Well uh next time you should let someone else do it instead of your father.
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
After 20 seconds of "*****" and "*****" i would have gone to my mom and asked her to take me somewhere for that. That's a sign something is going wrong. Sorry about your hair OP
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Comments (69)
wanted_2_want 40
Wear a baseball cap sideways. Nobody will see the difference.
glimmer980 20
Well maybe it's time to try wigs as an option.
kingoftheawkward 5
welp that's what they made hats for.
yourangel_fml 2
Thankfully it's only hair and it grows back
FMLworthy5000 21
just be glad they didn't say that you looked like a pedophile
Daniel589 7
And that's a reason why you'd normally try Barber Shops..
am_bugg 20
Might wanna pick up some hats...
MaryPoppins88 14
Why would you let your dad cut your hair we don't spend all the time and money to learn how to cut hair if it was that easy it's actually a lot harder than it looks
cakefete2 31
I sometimes cut my own hair. It comes out like the barber, but because of how long it takes, I usually just pay the barber for the convenience.
little_one 20
Unless it's a clipper guard like a #2 all over don't do it. People I see always try cutting their own hair and it's a mess... How do you fix bangs when they were cut 5 inches from their forehead... You don't. Pay a professional we need to be licensed for a reason.
GentlemanBastard 15
Your dad must be a special kind of incompetent. If you're using a guard, it's almost impossible to mess up. Just cut your own hair from now on. That's what I do, and I almost never get called a psychopath.
Zebediabolical 45
You're assuming he wanted a buzz cut from the beginning. The way I read it, the buzz came after the fact to clean up the shitty job OP's dad did.
daydreamer244 13
Invest in a wig?