Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
unidentifieduser 23
Your dad is parenting the right way.
RustlingSoul 26
Is your dad screwing with you? If so, your dad's awesome!
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Comments (133)
RustlingSoul 26
Is your dad screwing with you? If so, your dad's awesome!
AnOriginalName 19
Of course he's screwing with his kid. That's the entire point of being a dad!
MrSassypants 34
That explains why dad jokes exist.
Retaheki 27
The dad need one of those nasty, "look-at-my-hairy-legs" shorts and some expired Tylenol, then he'll be in business.
incoherentrmblr 22
...plus a thick pair of big 80's style glasses along with a Members Only jacket, and the conversion van from Napoleon Dynamite, then he'll have the classic pedophile look...
ob81 8
Get over it op. Don't let your dad's actions control your days at school.
Ms_ValS 27
Point is she can't control the teasing. Judging by your picture, you're not the type people would tease for fear of dying.
Kougeru 12
If a little verbal abuse is enough to ruin someone's day, especially in school, then they are weak minded.
LaurenRoxsU 9
@101, "For fear of dying"... Lolol so eloquently put. Win.
unidentifieduser 23
Your dad is parenting the right way.
Just_A_Tree 20
He's parenting the right way until he gets arrested for bringing the family van to school while holding binoculars.
Soccerfan2002 10
#20 Just killed it.
Soccerfan2002 10
#20 You killed the joke.
tournamentdecide 33
Saying it once was enough.
sstahpp 33
#75 don't be rude
LaurenRoxsU 9
@66, You just killed it. Twice. So don't tell someone they killed something; when you in fact killed their killed kill. TOO FAR 66. TOO. FAR.
LaurenRoxsU 9
@75, Ikr? And it's not like he can really comment. Even if #20 killed it (Which in my opinion he didn't. I thought it was pretty lulzy.) , #66 killed their killed kill. And I am pretty sure I killed everything. And subsequently diverted the impending Zombie Apocalypse. I know. You're welcome.
LaurenRoxsU 9
@20, I mean, "technically" only at recess is when that's like, super creepy. Otherwise, I think it stays just at a mild-to-moderately disturbing level. Unless he has candy. Then it's just, All. F#%^ing. Over.
Falassalond 16
Your peers aren't old enough to understand how awesome beards are. Your dad is awesome!
stephanyovalle 15
If you don't like being picked at school by your dad, you can always walk your way home... Or you could care less about what other people think.
BBlah 26
I agree! They can get over a man's facial hair
annarcheer 19
Exactly. He doesn't have to come and get her and why should she care so much? I've seen people who's parents are a lot more embarrassing then just a beard and they don't care at all.
184886837272837 32
yeah if I was his dad I'd tell my kid to **** off. I'll grow a beard if I so damn please. (not that I can right now)
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree op, don't bother wasting your time caring what people think of your parents. Your dad is pretty awesome to come pick you up every day, and he sounds like an awesome & funny guy. You two sound like you have a good relationship, don't let what other people think ruin that. Plus, I doubt your friends even care or remember him 2 minutes after seeing him. Thankfully I never went through the phase of being embarrassed by my parents, and I had no problem having them around or kissing & hugging them goodbye. Just be thankful you have such awesome caring parents around when so many other kids don't.
Ms_ValS 27
It sounds like the dad is doing it on purpose. It must be difficult if OP is shy and just wants to fit in if the father makes it a point to look ridiculous. And besides, walking home is not always an option.
cristy91 33
You can't always walk back to school. My middle school was over an hours walk away with no sidewalk, and my elementary and high school were even further. Pairing that with Florida's horrible weather, you get a scenario where you depend on mom and dad.
annarcheer 19
She could easily ride the bus.
gintwinsmoore 20
a long year is right...check your "stache" so you can pay your peers for their pain and suffering. Ok...I see the way out.
Pingvinai 37
Tried too hard mate.
gintwinsmoore 20
yeah...I figured...Lol thanks. :)
Welshite 40
Honestly, Bigfoot's butt is quite sexy. You made a major mistake asking him to rid himself of such a glorious beard.
Nymeria_fml 25
I doubt OP wants to find her dad 'quite sexy', though.
Smooth_Criminal 24
* his dad.
Nymeria_fml 25
You're right, Smooth_Criminal, that mistake obviously negates my point. :(
thawny_fml 21
Sooner or later you will realise that what other people think of you doesn't matter.
YepThatsMeee 23
I'm guessing later.
hippodankamus 22
If you ask him again he'll probably start sporting a Hitler stache. Just go with the pedo.
tournamentdecide 33
My dad's friend, using the normal electric shavers dads use, jokingly shaved his mustache to match Hitler's. The batteries died before he could shave the rest.
mrmcleod 29
I just shaved my beard because my wife hates it. My daughter told me never to shave my beautiful beard again. I'm so torn.
fakedsincerity 32
Regrow the beard!
False_Stupidity 42
That's quite the predicament you find yourself in. No matter which way to go, you're screwed, figuratively of course. Maybe you can compromise and only shave half your face... You might even start a new trend!
Pingvinai 37
A shave for a shave. Get creative with your wife. Level the playfield.
Compgeek1996 5
Actually 19, if he continues to shave the beard, he may have the opportunity to be screwed on the literal sense as well. I doubt that could happen if he keeps the beard though, due to certain legal complications.
Brandi_Faith 34
Definitely keep it shaved! Your wife's opinion matters a bit more in this case, especially since she's the once kissing you and feeling that beard on her face.
countryb_cth 38
I don't think feeling his beard on her face is what she was complaining about.