Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, for my boyfriend's 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit, and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
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Top comments
cjwayy 22
Yikes. Not sure if he thinks the sex was really that bad, or if he's just an asshole.
Wilffe56 9
Well.... perhaps this is an eye opener. Find someone new or try something new. OP if your boyfriend doesn't like what you try then make him dress up.
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Comments (86)
cjwayy 22
Yikes. Not sure if he thinks the sex was really that bad, or if he's just an asshole.
MountainGiant87 15
I'm leaning toward asshole.
negb 30
And I'm leaning towards both
slutfactory 17
Maybe OP's boyfriend should be the nurse next time.
lexutzu 12
Yeah. Do the same to him.
RedPillSucks 33
It takes two to make good sex
Brandi_Faith 34
I think he was just trying to make a joke because of the whole "malpractice" thing. But what a stupid joke to make. Idiot.
Wilffe56 9
Well.... perhaps this is an eye opener. Find someone new or try something new. OP if your boyfriend doesn't like what you try then make him dress up.
nchic01 17
yeah why should she be the only one dressing up?
PoisonOrchid 21
Maybe try asking him what he likes or doesn't like about what you are doing. If its a relationship you care about and want to stay in, you need to be open and able to communicate about everything, including sex.
Miss_Whipped 43
Or just stop having sex with him and recommend some medication instead. You know. For sexual enhancement.
Jamaican_Domo 10
Your boyfriend is now officially proclaimed-a dick
revan546 24
Zing!
brookenicolee29 27
Ouch. Sorry OP.
Wilffe56 9
And I know people are probably going to hate my comment, maybe.... possibly.....idk.....
leopardwilliam 22
Have some confidence! Even if it sucks who cares?
littlekellilee 45
You need to stop commenting things like this, or at least reply to your own comment instead of making a whole new one.
Brandi_Faith 34
And that comment is...
Miss_Whipped 43
That would be #2. Oh, and the comment he was referring to as well.
miliaras93 17
Way to be brutally honest .. If that happend to me my self confidence would be out the window , try asking him what he would like , what his fantasy is . Maybe that'll help :)
ohSNAPyall 27
Bullshit. She worked hard to please him, and he went out without her afterwards. He's the one who should be trying to impress her.
miliaras93 17
I didnt say anything that made him look good lol maybe you need to read what i said again ?
lRain 6
I think #29 just meant that he doesn't deserve to be asked what he likes. If my bf did that, I wouldn't even think of continuing the relationship. My heart goes out to OP, sorry this happened to you.
sassy2085 16
Oh snap don't let him get away with that
Rizzen 27
well that was a dick move, may god smite him, and no more sex for him.
larrena2377 26
Exactly! The next time he wanted some, I'd remind him of just how "awful" he thought the last time was and say I wouldn't want to have to put him through that again. He's a dick.
wanted_2_want 40
Dang!! What a gentleman you got there! That got to be a confidence killer! You need better than that.
wanted_2_want 40
*someone*
Brandi_Faith 34
It amazes me how our minds often fill in the blanks. Sometimes I read a comment, like yours, and don't even realize there's something wrong with it till I see the 2nd comment editing it. I then go back to the comment and realize there's a whole word missing that I didn't even realize. So weird.