Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zman2017 18
The name! He's kinda right though
CallMeWindSock 24
Or she's envious of penises.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
weveallbeenthere 30
either your haircut looks like a penis head or he thinks your a lesbian.
CallMeWindSock 24
Or she's envious of penises.
Queen_bee1234 21
You're* I just had to.
Jreslier 15
Or the hair reminds him of the soft rug he had when he had his first erection. Correct me if I'm wrong.
weveallbeenthere 30
#9 you are correct. sorry, smartphoned again.
escapingreality 19
#9 you're wrong...#1 used your correctly
Llama_Face89 34
19- take a second look.
pharm121 21
Umm no. The comment is your hair either looks like .... So the correct form is Y-O-U-R to show ownership....
pharm121 21
Umm no. The correct form is YOUR. YOUR hair looks like...blah blah blah. You're = you are. Your= ownership.
GalaxyShots 21
They were talking about "or he thinks 'your' a lesbian".
cryssycakesx3 23
umm no. the comment is "your a lesbian..." the correct form is you're/you are. morons.
CrAzYELF4 26
#26 I think they got confused to which comment people were referring to. So don't go calling people morons.
addictedtoIASIP 14
Well people are morons if they immediately look at the first your and not the second.
MasterTron 24
For those of you saying #1 is using the wrong your, you're wrong. Stop and say #1s post out loud, either you're (the contraction of you are) haircut vs either your haircut. If you think about it is silly to say either you are haircut (you're)
Respect101 17
57, look at the second your... the first one is right, but the second one isn't.
spatula232 25
You're arguing about which your it is. Yal need to calm down lol
junkman6 22
Reading this chain of comments makes me think of Denis Leary's I'm an asshole. "Sometimes I just want to have fun at someone else's expense!"
weveallbeenthere 30
wow, so much controversy over my post. yes my second "your" should have been you're or you are.
adkim78 17
Sigmund Freud's theory of penis envy: every girl secretly wishes she that she had a penis or had the ability to grow one
curlytop101 23
#11 You're wrong.
MasterTron 24
Ah ok I did not see that one my apologies.
Zman2017 18
The name! He's kinda right though
TaylorWhiteGirl 15
#2 did.
aruden 25
was he correct?
Mynamewontfi 40
Judging by OP's name, he was.
cjwayy 22
Haha! Sorry, OP. Your dad is pretty funny though.
meegal 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Eh I've never liked those short boyish haircuts on girls but that's just me, I usually prefer a more long feminine hair style on girls. I'm sure you look fine though OP so ignore your father! Do what you want! It's your hair!
cjwayy 22
Short hairstyles can be difficult. Either you pull them off or you don't. I had short hair for awhile and it looked pretty good but I'm growing it out because it was hard to style. But personally, I think girls with short yet feminine hair are super sexy.
meegal 12
Holy shit I got thumbed down a lot... I really did not mean to offend people. I am so sorry for anyone who thought my comment was an insult. I even said that OP can do whatever she wants with her hair because it's HER hair, not her FATHER'S hair. All I did was state a preference I have. I didn't say that they're ugly, all I did was say I usually like girls with longer hair. I'm sure you looked beautiful with short hair. And i'm sure that OP does too.
garrett_8614 14
You don't have to apologize for stating your opinion. It's cool #42
cjwayy 22
You didn't offend me at all! I understand that's just your preference and there's nothing wrong with that. Like I actually have a preference for brunettes over other hair colors but that could offend people I guess lol
Brandi_Faith 34
7, I think that's pretty common for males to like long hair on women, at least all the guys I know prefer long hair. However lots of women like short hair or guy styles because it's often easier to wash and style. I personally would love to chop all mine off but I don't feel I could pull it off, plus I'm pretty sure id hate it after a month and growing it out again really sucks cause you hit awkward phases where it doesn't look too good and looks like it needs to be cut.
Vegetarian27 24
I'm a girl and I detest short hairstyles on most girls. I only know about one person who can actually pull it off.
ironhead_fml 20
Dads can be very facetious. Especially to their girls. Don't worry, short hair looks great on girls too.
mageepaigeee44 15
I think you have to have a certain facial structure to pull it off honestly. It just depends on the person. Some women, like myself, looks awkward with really long hair. Chin length has always suited me.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
Well, if look at Miley Cyrus, Kaley Cuoco, and Emma Watson, I would say long hair looks better for women. BUT... I am a guy with long hair so what do I know?
mageepaigeee44 15
Emma Watson? I mean I know it's your opinion but I think most people agree she looks amazing with short hair
cjwayy 22
Kaley Cuoco has Kate gosselin hair and it's disturbing
brandoneyez1 25
At least he told you what he really thought.
fuckdepression 13
When I first cut my hair short, my dad told me that I looked like a "very gay boy". I think they believe that they're obligated to say something rude when their daughters cut their hair. He'll come around though. Mine did.
peacheso 31
Why is everyone being so hard on OPs father and fathers in general? It was an obvious joke. I have short hair and everybody loves it, including my father.
cristy91 33
I told my dad I was *thinking* about doing it and he said I might as well get a tattoo over my face because I would be trash anyway. Since you had a good experience with your dad you see it as a joke, but for those of us with shitty ones we take it negatively. Just a matter of interpretation tbh
blueblu97 16
I feel really dumb, but I don't even know what that's means ?
leeeeeetho 5
It means the reason his daughter did this is because she wants a penis
lenehey 7
Google it. It refers to a long-dicredited theory by Sigmund Freud thats says, essentially, the reason some women cannot relate well with men, or act in certain ways, is because the subconsciously envy men for having penises.
Ianamis 6
It is a old psychological term that dates back to Sigmund Freud his belief that all women wanted penises and all men wanted to **** their mothers.
LexSwift 17
I believe it was Carl Jung, not Sigmund Freud, that proposed Penis Envy in the Electra Complex. Freud proposed the Oedipus Complex. (It's been a few months since my psychology class, so I could be completely butchering all this.)
iamatoadkisser 15
My dad (a father of four girls and no boys at the time) kept happily saying "I have a boy now!" When I cut my really short. He honestly though hated my short hair cut but everyone else loved it and said I looked great.. I guess this just my long way of saying "Don't take to personal. Some guys just prefer long hair on girls."
igive 29
It's not about the dad's preference, it's that he was rude about her hair.