Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
Today, I awoke from a bizarre dream where I, a man, was pregnant. If that wasn’t weird enough, when I gave birth, it was a pug puppy. FML
Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
That stinks.
Fully_fml 0
Haha I love how this worded!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (229)
muffinsareyummy 1
Well, congratulations anyway.
perdix 31
Aw. So cute! It looks JUST like you.
TheDeadWhoWalks 0
OP Your A Disguisting Bitch
kennykins12345 0
And your a douchebag
iLoveUnionJ 8
and your a judgemental ****, but hey, we cant all say what we think otherwhise assholes like you would probably be having their faces smashed 24/7.
purpleadios 10
that sucks. in my health class we were learning about pregnacy and I was wondering if that ever happened to a woman who was giving birth...well now know.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Yes, it often happens during birth. Or so I'm told.
Intoxicunt 6
Yep. Women giving birth in the hospital usually get an enema before delivering so they don't shit everywhere.
goonie85 0
Who told you that? They do not get enemas! They get urinary catheters if they get epidurals since they can't walk to piss, but they do not get enemas! Unless that's a European thing I've never heard of. Neither I nor anyone I know has gotten one before birth.
TripleJumpMan 0
shit happens...
Romulus013 1
Congratulations.....You had a lawyer!!!!
fakeaccountX 6
win
seanreddog 4
Bono.
rawrimadinosour 0
Ha Ha I remember when I use to pee on my bed.. OP that's gross.
LatteMakiatto 0
Made my day!
Canuck13 12
LOL hahahahaha
Daniboy_hockey 0
lol, thats funny :P nxt time in your dream, make sure
WolfsGuns 0
I don't know if this is just me but this fml makes me think of the song "I shit on you" by Eminem and D12