Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my second child. This wouldn't be so bad if my son wasn't only 10 months old and my partner, the father of my children, hadn't been secretly seeing his ex wife. FML
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was concerned I hadn’t restarted my periods yet after the birth of our first child. Turns out it’s because I’m pregnant again already. We must have gotten pregnant off the very first egg I released after giving birth. Our first baby is only 3 months old. FML
Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I'm 53 and I have four grown children and grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm expecting our second child. He ripped up the sonogram and yelled at me to "fucking get rid of it" while jabbing me in the chest. FML
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Top comments
ChocolateScyther 19
that sounds like something out of a horror movie. make sure you keep knives out of your kid's reach...
Bricktothehead 21
If she's 2 1/2 I think she can be forgiven. Although getting a suit of armor might be a serious consideration until she knows better.
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Comments (60)
ChocolateScyther 19
that sounds like something out of a horror movie. make sure you keep knives out of your kid's reach...
dramaelf 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's actually pretty adorable.
kibster9 20
So you are picturing the kid stabbing his mom in the stomach saying "that's adorable".
Eyalsh 32
that's pretty ****** far from adorable.
shessohighh 10
I imagined the kid doing it with their fingers, which might be kind of adorable. If they had access to a knife or any other sharp object at that age, OP probably had it coming.
nattlecakes 19
I thought so too, assuming that OP wasn't literally being stabbed by any sharp object. I picture the little kid like squeezing and poking with their fingers only. I'm pretty sure the post would mention of she was actually being stabbed...
mightycocoman 12
Guys that down vote all the dumb comments.. It's April Fools, they're probably just jokes. Calm it down, people.
Steffi3 40
I think you need to explain the idea of a baby a little better
Bricktothehead 21
If she's 2 1/2 I think she can be forgiven. Although getting a suit of armor might be a serious consideration until she knows better.
Welshite 40
Was she using a needle or a pair of scissors?
zenrael 21
At two and a half you can easily make your child understand that they could possibly hurt you or the baby
shino411cute 13
Yes beacuse 2 year old see reason
jqmalang 17
Well, depends on how she was trying to "pop the balloon" if it was with her fingers, then that's pretty cute. If anything else, I'd be a little scared for you.
PePziNL 20
Exactly this.
Rozeyyy 25
Aww thats kinda cute ... although maybe its time for you to tell your child about a new baby, sometimes kids get excited and take extra care of you
danthehuman 29
Oh yeah. Popping fetuses since day one.
SarcasticShade 16
You didn't "blow up" at them did you?