Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
Today, I awoke from a bizarre dream where I, a man, was pregnant. If that wasn’t weird enough, when I gave birth, it was a pug puppy. FML
Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
That stinks.
Fully_fml 0
Haha I love how this worded!
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Comments (229)
suzyperez 0
can that seriously happen !! I understand peeing the bed!! but pooping is just something else!
fernandopcg 1
OH SHI-
sexirene 0
that sucks pp I'm 4 1/2 months prego i understand your dreams but you could've also made it to the toilet
sexirene 0
that sucks op I'm 4 1/2 months prego i understand your dreams but you could've made it to the toilet
Moemoemoe_fml 0
The amount of incredibly disrespectful little SOBs commenting here to insult the OP is shocking. I understand most of you haven't hit puberty yet, but that doesn't justify typing without using even one ounce of your brains. All of you commenting disgustingly offensive stuff to attack the OP or other people who never did anything to you, you're all the loads your mothers should have swallowed. (When you grow up you'll know what that means.)
tigercoon 12
win
sexirene 0
that sucks op I'm 4 1/2 months prego i understand your dreams but you could've made it to the toilet
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Yeah right... Wait until you get to 9 months before you tell her that she "could have made it to the toilet"!!... especially when she's asleep and dreaming!!
leaveitbe 0
just think of it as practice
fforw 0
Someone nearly big enough to get into the world is kicking against your intestines from the inside. Everything normal and fine..
shadowsbane 0
You gave birth to Bono from U2?
birds_fml 7
You think that's bad, wait until you're actually giving birth, and take a dump in front of the doctor, all the nurses, and your husband. And as we can see from a few stories up, you'll have to clean up your kid's poop too. ;D