Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aggiegirl95 7
I don't know what you're complaining about, Kool-Aid Man is sexy as hell.
tylercoffman420 19
oh no! oh no! OH YEA! (koolaid man breaks through wall)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
MRVOlivia2 15
I'm sure if you told her about it she would laugh too. That's a hilarious problem.
Stuby14 19
OP here. I did tell her, and she laughed almost as hard as I did.
hellnosucka 27
how cute.
mariri9206 32
OP, glad you have a GF you can laugh with, especially given the circumstances. Sounds like you've got a good one.
MRVOlivia2 15
Lol that's great. I'm glad you have a girlfriend you can laugh with. I just know that's how I'd respond in that situation.
aggiegirl95 7
I don't know what you're complaining about, Kool-Aid Man is sexy as hell.
Wizardo 34
Especially when he busts through unexpected entrances right.
ShyVi 18
#20 but I would be terrified if he busted through my ******.
SystemofaBlink41 27
That's one horrifying image.
DoomSkuller 28
#37 idk, some might be into that
SystemofaBlink41 27
Always remember Rule 34.
pjsr 33
Cherry is best
julianbozikovic 20
Restart and try again!
jadenjacksonm 14
*yawns at comment*
BirdieCurls 25
*yawns at comment yawning at comment*
Username322Xx 4
*yawns at comment yawning at comment yawning at comment*
tylercoffman420 19
oh no! oh no! OH YEA! (koolaid man breaks through wall)
Lalala579121 28
You better fix that hole in my wall before my dad comes home.
NickACD 27
God damnit, everyone stop saying 'oh no' in this courtroom. Cause the f**king look-aid guys gonna come in through the wall.
Roskosity 22
Because you know I'm all about that bass... Hahaha.
Polynomial 28
No.
liv1222 29
I'm trying to figure out what that has to do with the FML. Explain please?
Roskosity 22
He has a really deep bass voice. Idk. Haha. I was tired as shit when I wrote it.
olpally 33
Ooooohhhh yeahhhhhhh.... Why would you think of that while sexting? That's just weird.
Mauskau 36
Every time someone says "excellent" I imagine Mr Burns, which is annoying at work.
olpally 33
I understand it's hilarious, but really? That's not what I think of when I'm sexting. Lol ridiculous.
XXFMLXXQUEENXX 29
Lmao at least it didn't turn you on more.
OptimusSlime 23
Am I the only one who read the "oooooh yeah" in the Kool Aid man's voice too?
Luxray24 13
I did too!
LiLMAMA0523 35
Nope I did too lol
avatar0810 15
I was thinking of one of macho man's Slim Jim commercials when I read it.
Avi8r 22
Did she smash through your wall?
megs925 16
That's exactly the voice I heard in my head while reading that lol