Anonymous
Louisville, United States
Seek medical help
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
fulloshit
United States
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Anonymous
Downhill from here
Today, I'm two months pregnant and can only seem to eat plain food consisting of mostly cheese. Now I’m constipated and haven’t pooped in two days. FML
crazycrochetlady
Crackers
Today, I'm seven weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't Cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up two hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML
radiating
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Crap
United States
I've known for ages
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
jetpack girl
Yoyo
Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML
Annakins
United States
Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Anonymous
Israel
Stewart Lee has let himself go
Today, I noticed while sitting on my office chair, my belly is now large enough to touch my thighs. I'm not pregnant, I just ate my feelings for the past few years, and gained about 20kg in total. I've never felt so much self-loathing as I do right now, and I'm too ashamed to ask for help. FML
Bear
The joys of motherhood
Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML
Top comments
DLBL 23
If it's that bad, please see a doctor. This can be serious.
Chazzster 32
MiraLAX and a stool softener caplet with apple juice. Follow the directions. Unless there are complications, that should help by the end of the day.
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Comments (2)
Chazzster 32
MiraLAX and a stool softener caplet with apple juice. Follow the directions. Unless there are complications, that should help by the end of the day.
DLBL 23
If it's that bad, please see a doctor. This can be serious.