Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, just before bed, I decided to put away the dry washing. I ended up knocking over my boyfriend's precious brewing ginger beer. It took me an hour to clean it off the floor, cupboards, door, outside and inside of the fridge. Everything is still sticky and smells of yeast. FML
Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Today, I cleaned up the entire kitchen after sending the kids to school. I decided to have a nice cup of tea, and then knocked the tea over into the bin and the bin cabinet, the hardest and grossest thing to clean. FML
Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML
Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML
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Top comments
GoPlayInTraffic 2
At least its roomates. I just got home from a busy day and I want to cook supper but until I could start I had to move dumped purse contents from the stove top, papers, tissues, makeup, crap, along with dirty dishes from the work area next to the stove. And for my own sanity I brought dirty dishes from the living room, as well as threw away several used facial tissues that were laying around. I cleaned Friday. It's only Sunday and I was barely home yesterday. I have a messy wife. FML4life
vexxcis 0
Screw your roommates! Tell them to clean it up!
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Comments (158)
ScooterScott 0
Sucks for you
vexxcis 0
Screw your roommates! Tell them to clean it up!
chrissycrunk 1
your like the doormat for these people huh xD
rawrcupcakesz 0
chrissy buddy lol hi!! OP stop bitching its not an FML
Weird_Gurl7504 0
hold up you spent HOURS?!?! geez
zilepo 1
I agree with 4. Make them clean it up :)
IchbinSyn 0
Get some new Roomates
ScooterScott 0
Anyone wanna make me a fan sign? Doesn't have to be fancy. 4_ P. _a___b_ __y. Fill in the blanks.
FML_Leet 0
Get Cleaning!
zakkyzebra 11
that must have been a big can or a small kitchen
FTC_Socialist 3
I agree with 27. This would be after I shit on their coats, though.
seanreddog 4
Wipe it up. You're a slob too if you haven't cleaned it before, and an extra couple minutes cleaning shouldn't be a big deal since you've already spent hours on it.
MnBran6 0
Dane Cook ftw
skullbashd 3
she's a women it's her job
katTKD 0
looks like it's time to wash dishes....just put on some music and have fun with it lol I like washing dishes
sukhdeep 4
lol Sorrry! I would clean it for you if I could! (only if u gave me 20 bucks)
tjrocks1294 0
fyl
TokioxxHotel 0
lmao at the Dane cook reference. 'SOMEBODY SHIT ON THE COATS!'
pseudolife 4
Damn...that sucks. FYL.
samantha_durano 6
I love Dane Cook :) and op that sucks, make them clean it up you don't deserve that.
120796gators 0
so u cleaned for hours how about u let ur roomates get the soda this time(yes I no they won't clean it up)
edgerrin00 0
ya just leave it there and if they complain tell them that since you cleaned up their mess they gotta clean up yours
TokioxxHotel 0
oh, and I hope 9 is missing all of this so they don't have to deal with your guys' little comments. narcassistic bastards.
TokioxxHotel 0
wrong post. lmao.
zakkyzebra 11
piss on their beds.
alex0689 1
f u skullbashd
sweetlybroken11 2
niceeee 77 and that sucks, be like i tried! now its ur turn OP (:
catsareahmazing 0
Gotta love roomates.
AbnormalAshley 0
OP's Roommates probably shook it up
NotMeh 0
Oh noes!
justj2010 0
u rock. I forgot how much music helps with everything. thx for the reminder. hell, even Dexter had background music.
tencentsakiss 19
"the floor is all sticky" "I just came" hehe I had to add another Dane cook reference
missmurderx 8
mm hello there number 9 :D gorgeous, hahh. teehee I love Dane cook :D not so kool aid is my favourite :)
tencentsakiss 19
also Daniel tosh is also awesome. even before tosh.0
StoryOfTheYear 15
What a slob Tsk tsk Now your roommate There's a rolemodel Stop ******* up >.>
theboss_ishere 0
sucksssss
samantha_durano 6
dude, every girl on this thread is hot. you should all marry me.
kidsanchez1 4
Samantha you a pimp or something marring every girl on here?
samantha_durano 6
lol, damn straight :) dont tell Jess though! she hates when I cheat on her.
LoganBballin16 0
54 you are very preatty ;-)
kidsanchez1 4
lol so during the day your all hers but during the night you get all the other girls and act like it never happens the next day and you do that daily right?
LoganBballin16 0
Sam you are beautiful how old r u I can't tell from ur pic..
kybabyy 4
The soda will take all of ten minutes to clean! You just wanted to complain about your slob roommates. Sammie your new picture is gorgeous (: And you're right. Pretty much all the girls under # 1 are pretty. I didn't look at the rest of the page. Stupid small pixels
shezzamezza 0
That is why I always tap the lid of a can before opening it for about half a minute. Prevents THAT from happening.
samantha_durano 6
135: lol yeah pretty much!:) no it's just when she's not around, I got caught yesterday though! 136: I'm 13, lol. ky!: why thankyou:D but I will never be as gorgeous as you buttercup!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Stop pretending you don't want me >.> You can only resist my smexy pic for so long
kidsanchez1 4
Samantha there is no way you are 13 I would if thought 15 or 16
samantha_durano 6
lol want to see my birth certificate?:) 1997 bitchess. yeah I know, sometimes I can't even believe it. I don't act 13 either. lol, someone thought I was 18 once.
StoryOfTheYear 15
142 Then again most people cannot fathom the fact that I'm under 18 People don't look their age sometimes
samantha_durano 6
oh and ky, do you have the same colored walls as me?:)
kidsanchez1 4
well that's cool a 13 year old pimpwho gets all the girls and dosent look her age oh Samantha you got to remember keep your pimp hand strong remember that next time your girls argue with you
samantha_durano 6
oh I always keep it strong no worries ;) hahahh.
kidsanchez1 4
alright that's how you got to have it ps ms.Jessie just got on
samantha_durano 6
lol, thanks for the heads up!:) so no more asking hot girls out for the moment.
kybabyy 4
Aww you're sweet Sammie! I think we're atleast even. Thats why I'm your favorite;) my walls are bluee (: I love it. P.S hi Loren!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol ky WTF Where have you been?
kybabyy 4
Ohhh, out and about. I decided to try having a life for a little while. =D
StoryOfTheYear 15
O believe me so have I I try to quickly add a quip every so often on my iPod, but other than times like this I rarely am on here for a sustained period
TokioxxHotel 0
143- I look older in person. I'm 15 and I was mistaken for 18. XD Its pretty funny.
songsparrow 0
A women? What a dumbass you are!
glen12 0
just get a mop or paper towl it would take u 3 minutes co on
junior_serb 4
what the shit is it supposed to be #22.
Ali_Br_fml 33
wow, who's the slob now? j/k
wreckem881 0
rule 1 ... never clean up after your POS roomates lol
Thunderbender 2
Life just said **** yo couch
fsxman1 11
hahaha you deserve fat ass
justj2010 0
a fat ass is scrumptious.
hubbabubbba 0
:( their fault!!!! it's ok. make them clean it up
KoRn_Freak 1
AughtshfO;HDRKGHSR! That sux mucho! D: I would have totaly gone and beat them all up and kicked them out! :)
Macromartyr 3
University roommates suck
JGood08 1
yea no shit, like my roomates are cool but messy as hell
deviousstang 0
Did u shake it up??? lol make ur roomates help jeez
illmatic2 16
this is a real quick fix. I could clean it up in less then 2 minutes.
Famousxxx 0
I know right.
amandalovee 0
it doesn't take or it shouldn't take u that long,.....
seanreddog 4
Exactly.
Sammyb123 0
52- I miss the photo collage of your cats :(
seanreddog 4
Maybe I'll put a new one up tomorrow idk
jeans2tite 0
WOW!